Readers, I have a matter of critical import. I was contacted over the weekend by the one and only Spacecat. He has very important information for us, which I will present to you verbatim.
Greetangz humans! I come from the distant future, the year 2009, to warn you of the coming nightclub apocalypse. Soon the great unification will begin and all nightclubs will be owned by The Opium Group, which is great if you love open format bottle service, but kind of a drag otherwise. Support the Downtown Resistance while there is still time! And the Grove still sucks, even in the future.
Also, Duran and B.A.C. both have syphilis. Seems like a strange coincidence, don't you think?
My time oscillator is trembling! Fairwelllllll..
Well, if Spacecat says it, I guess it must be true. Cats from the future never lie. Read on for his suggestions for this weekend!
Thursday:
BAC's obsession Gravy Train performs at White Room. See his post for background information. Doors open at 8pm. White Room is located at 1306 North Miami Avenue in downtown Miami.
Friday:
{{photo:20852}}Supermarket Creative and 944 Magazine have put together an unusual event at the Bass Museum of Art called A Mad Tea Party. It's like Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, except with more art and booze. When you get there, act like you're there for the art; you're actually there for the booze. The Bass Museum of Art is located at 2121 Park Avenue in Miami Beach. (It even has a fancy address!) The afterparty is held at the newly opened Heathrow Lounge at 681 Washington Avenue, featuring DJ Ruen, Johnny the Boy and Aramis.
{{photo:right:20853}}Hurray for decisive bookings! DJ Klever performs at Home Bass at White Room. Finally someone fun to listen to. I know all the important DJs are busy doing drugs pool-side in Ibiza but that's no excuse for the completely sad state of recent bookings. A pox upon all nightclubs. As a bonus, here's a young Klever wikki wikki-ing it up in the DMC turntablism contest. Did you know that, these days, competitors in scratch contests make their own one-off vinyl to make their lives easier? Yeah, I thought that was pretty lame too.
Saturday:
Why do art-related events almost always involve free liquor? Because that's the only way smug art douches can tolerate themselves! See for yourself at the Wynwood Art Walk this Saturday in the Wynwood Art District along North Miami Avenue to NW 2nd Avenue, between 20th Street and 36th Street in downtown Miami.
{{photo:20855}}Laptop battles are the this-century version of turntable scratch battles. Click here to see some videos. A bunch of guys sit around with their production tool of choice (Ableton Live please!) and bang out a few hot tunes in a couple of minutes, then get judged for it. It's a pretty exciting new art form and I think the results will trickle down into traditional laptop DJing as well as things become less noisy and more melodic. If you're interested, there's a laptop battle this Saturday at the terrifying Churchills featuring a bunch of people I've never heard of and The Deuce Crew. Churchill's is located at 5501 NE 2nd Ave in Miami.
Monday:
DJ Blaqstarr live at Exposure at White Room. (Yes, this is a world record for number of mentions of White Room in one post. No, I'm not on the payroll.) This is the man behind the indie-famous Shake It To The Ground. I don't know if he will be DJing or performing live, but it should be worth seeing anyway - especially since Exposure is a free party.
The 944 event is Friday.
A drunk smug art douche, however... *shudder*
And thank you space cat, I'll be handing out condoms to anyone Bryan speaks to that night, just to try and help the future
The quality of the blog was proper for a minute, now, not so much.
Mind you I have different interests other than reading about parties.
For what it's worth, if you read the very earliest posts on this blog, we were very broadly focused, but most people always were drawn into the nightlife stuff, and so we've kind of gone down that path. I'd welcome more bathhouse chatter, for instance.
At first I internally nodded my head at the idea of posting (just a lil bit of) non-nightlife-centric stuff, but I froze mid-nod when I read the artless drivel spewed forth in CarStar's latest post (Lackner, I thought we discussed this?) With writers like that, maybe it's best to stick to more basic club reviews and party promotions :( Love you guys though!!!!!