The Tommy Lackner First Rule of Nightclub Manners: Be emo at home

by Lackner, 05/19/2008

I'm relatively over it regarding people having completely uncalled for emotional outbreaks at clubs. This includes me, as I occasionally fall into the trap. So I'd like to propose a common set of rules and guidelines that you should play by if you don't want to be ostracized from your friends.

Rule #1: if you're too emo to enjoy the club, leave the club. Stop ruining everyone else's night with your superdramatic antics and impudent, embarrassing outbursts. We'll all here to have fun and forget our problems, not for a counseling session about your deep-seated emotional ones. It's extremely rude and selfish for you to rampage around the club frowning and knocking shit over as if we're supposed to give a fuck that you got touched as a baby.

Now you can just scream "RULE #1!!!" at the douche in question and nothing else needs to be said. I know this will never work, but it's worth a shot. And, if you think this post is about you, you're probably partially right: it's about almost everyone at some point.

Comments disabled Tags: Because I Say So, Bitching, Night Life
There are 23 comments about this post:
comment #0, posted by Duran at 05/19/2008 8:44pm Reply
errr... ummm... yea
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7IxliAPjAk[/youtube]
Ghost of Miami Nights Past
comment #1, posted by Lackner at 05/19/2008 8:50pm Reply
HAHA how did I never see that before? Depress-a-me street..
pop lock and drop it
comment #2, posted by CarStar* at 05/20/2008 1:02pm Reply
good first rule. we're gonna have to add on to these rules.
xo
CarStar*
comment #3, posted by Lackner at 05/20/2008 1:22pm Reply
Thanks! I welcome your input Ms. *
pop lock and drop it
comment #4, posted by jsand at 05/20/2008 4:59pm Reply
I got touched as a baby constantly; by the mailman, random homeless guys at the car wash who used it as a free shower, vendors at the pulga in Opa-Locka, and once by a tollbooth attendant when my mom tried to use me as a form of payment. Regardless, I just leave the club randomly when I'm pissed or frowny. Hell, I leave randomly when I'm not pissed or frowny. Emotional outbursts should be reserved for checkout lines at department stores and in church, because those are the two most boring places on earth and entertainment is always welcomed there.
Rocking the balls and ass of the blogging world.
comment #5, posted by SouthPointE at 05/20/2008 5:21pm Reply
Rule # 2 No Glow Sticks
"The ugliest of truths is prettier than
the most beautiful lie"
comment #6, posted by little lackner at 05/20/2008 5:22pm Reply
Wow, Tommy, you can take this so far. I see a book deal and a charm school in the near future. Here's something I hate, although I dont think it needs to be a rule. I find that friends and aquaintances will ask me for a few bucks, which I graciously give, and they, in turn, give those dollars to a homeless man or a bathroom attendant.... Maybe I'm the one who's being selfish in this scenario. Your thoughts?
comment #7, posted by B.A.C. at 05/20/2008 5:58pm Reply
Lil Lack, As long as you get it back or dont get a nasty face when you ask for a couple bucks in the future. That shouldnt be a rule. No glowsticks yes, lending money? Nah....
I am the eggman
comment #8, posted by Dalton at 05/20/2008 9:30pm Reply
No vomiting on strangers or glowsticks either. They're equally repulsive.
myspace.com/daltnmusic
comment #9, posted by Ekerella at 05/20/2008 10:23pm Reply
#3 please dont go up to the DJ and make a request... it's not a house party.
comment #10, posted by J*SANCHEZ at 05/21/2008 10:45am Reply
#4 If you aren't ordering drinks do not loiter at the bar
gimme a beat!
comment #11, posted by Duran at 05/21/2008 10:58am Reply
about #4, i hate it when you ask someone who is loitering at the bar if they move to you can order and they look at you like you are asking them to give you a kidney. move fucking 2 feet to the right is all im fucking asking you to do.
Ghost of Miami Nights Past
comment #12, posted by Lackner at 05/21/2008 11:01am (reply to comment #11 by Duran) Reply
about #4, i hate it when you ask someone who is loitering at the bar if they move to you can order and they look at you like you are asking them to give you a kidney. move fucking 2 feet to the right is all im fucking asking you to do.
Especially cuz it's always some either artsy or musclebound dickhead guy that's four drinks past his maximum and SHOULD BE OBSERVING RULE #1. GTFO angrydude!!!!
pop lock and drop it
comment #13, posted by B.A.C. at 05/21/2008 11:13am Reply
Tom we gotta take all this input and start building a rule book that can be presented on the sidebar somehow (temporarily presented)
I am the eggman
comment #14, posted by J*SANCHEZ at 05/21/2008 4:22pm Reply
rule #5 refrain from farting on the dance floor.
gimme a beat!
comment #15, posted by SouthPointE at 05/21/2008 4:55pm Reply
#6 Whats with the Sunglasses
"The ugliest of truths is prettier than
the most beautiful lie"
comment #16, posted by Lackner at 05/21/2008 5:38pm (reply to comment #15 by SouthPointE) Reply
#6 Whats with the Sunglasses
I think we're finally nearing the end of all sunglass-related trends, house or indie or otherwise.

Thank fucking god
pop lock and drop it
comment #17, posted by J*SANCHEZ at 05/22/2008 08:39am Reply
#7 Ladies (and sadly, some gentlemen) when wearing too tight leggings and/or skinny jeans beware of muffin top and camel toe.
gimme a beat!
comment #18, posted by SouthPointE at 05/22/2008 09:06am Reply
#8 No Coach or Steve Madden(holla)
"The ugliest of truths is prettier than
the most beautiful lie"
comment #19, posted by billermo at 05/22/2008 11:06am Reply
#1,273 We all know its loud. WHen chatting, Please realize screaming directly in ones ear canal Fucking HURTS! Turn your head slightly away from earshot, cover your mouth (as to not sprinkle with spits and also diffuse piercing loudness) and yell to achieve communications.

or take your conversation AWAY from a PA system.
comment #20, posted by J*SANCHEZ at 05/29/2008 3:44pm Reply
#9 Don't ask me to fan you if I don't know you. I reserve the right to withhold all fanning of strangers.
gimme a beat!
comment #21, posted by Lackner at 05/29/2008 3:46pm Reply
That's a good one, and totally relevant to 0.001% of the clubbing population. Just like most of everything on Miaminights. SCORE!
pop lock and drop it
comment #22, posted by J*SANCHEZ at 05/29/2008 3:46pm (reply to comment #20 by J*SANCHEZ) Reply
#9 Don't ask me to fan you if I don't know you. I reserve the right to withhold all fanning of strangers.

okay that should be amended to read more as: when asking strangers for favors be prepared to be rejected.. or something like that. *removes esq. cap*
gimme a beat!

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