The reasons I hate VD
I guess I should start out by making it clear that by VD I mean Valentine's Day, not venereal diseases. I just want to go on record that I have never experienced a venereal disease -- that I am aware of.
Well, now that we have my medical history clear, I just want to say bah-fucking-humbug! I fucking hate Valentine's Day. Maybe I'm a bit bitter because I have yet to experience the joys of going nearly broke trying to impress someone. I mean it's bad enough the bitch want some kind of jewelery today (and on a writer's salary that ain't happening!), but she also wants to be taken out to eat. You eat every fucking day! What makes today any different?
Oh I get it. You want me to pay 10 times the normal amount for food because restaurants know that bitches (i.e.: women) have men on a leash, so restaurants jack up the prices under the disguise of "Valentine's Day Dinner Packages". Well let me tell you something, the same meal you serve everyday plus a cheap bottle of Korbel doesn't count as a package.
And here is what I find sort of odd about the whole ritual. Why does it take one day out of the year for you to tell you your fuck buddy that you love them? Shouldn't you be telling them that everyday? Shouldn't you want to sprinkle you bed with rose petals, light up scented candles and play The Best of Marvin Gaye on an infinite loop as you proceed to have "give it to 'em" after having a huge meal and being semi-drunk on cheap champagne?
No? Yea, me neither.
