Screw you, Baby Jesus - It's my Birthday!
So the time has come once again to celebrate the glorious birth of The Baby Jeebus Jessica.
I am turning some crappy age that no one cares about, so let's just leave it at that and get drunk. For some strange reason, as is tradition around here, you get the goods when all we get is a year older. I don't question Miami Nights authority since the last time I was lashed with twizzlers for nine days straight after I asked Lackner for a paperclip. Either way, Sign up to win a bottle tonight at O Asian Grill. (That's Saturday for you calenderless retards) I will be throwing crippled orphans off the balcony, and if you remember Easter of '01, you know that's not something to be missed. Music will be provided by the Italian Stallion himself, Danny Daze. Come laugh at my expiriment with spray tanning and buy me a shot out of sheer pity. Mazel Tov!
By the way, just come clean and tell everyone you are turning 38. Everyone knows Botox is what keeps you fresh and its the reason why when Lackner demand you puts the lotion on the skin, you couldn't even cry. You just sat there, looking all surprised.