Miami Nights

This review is four days late, I know. Bugger off. My weekend are filled with over indulgence. I over indulge in women, booze, cigarettes and carbon monoxide while sitting in my car in the garage (don't ask). Anyhow I had some pretty high expectations for this event. I don't know about you but when I was in middle school I was the only white kid in my class. The start was pretty rough cause I hated being called a cracker. But I finally got to know my black brethren and became good friends and ardent supporters of their music. In particular Miami Bass.

2 Live Crew was a staple on the bus ride home every day. As the driver went through Allapattah I started getting a true appreciation for booty as I stared at all the lovely black women walking the streets. In fact, I think it was at that point I became a womanizer. But enough of my jungle fever riddled childhood. The 2 Live show was a packed house. I never had any doubts the venue was gonna fill up but damn there were more people there than I had anticipated. So much more that it was a sweaty sauna of bad colognes, even worse perfumes and the omnipresent smell of deliciously slutty chick dying to get on stage. Yummy.

I won't go into detail about the music since we all know 2 Lives hits so I'm gonna concentrate on the energy of that room. People were going nutz, in particular the women on the stage who were shaking it like hoes. You see, thats the beauty of Miami Bass. It makes even the whitest most conservative girl dance like a hoe. To hell with seminary and sunday school, a hoe jus' wanna pop dat shit. Women were clamoring to get on the stage. Were they hoping to get some 2 Live action? Or were they just trying to show they could make it clap? I don't really give a shit to be honest. There were some pretty hot chicks up there getting nasty and sweaty. The rest of the room was bouncing and singing the lyrics to every single song and doing their best impression of booty dancing. Props goes to the Money Shot team of Jake and Xavier and also to Mike Feinberg of Subversive Inc for making this show happen.