Periodic Miami Nights entourage health update

A few quickies from the Miami Nights obit column:

Jorge R. is doing well. His cancer is totally becoming chemo's bitch, and the doctors are happy with his progress. Evidently he's still feeling well because he sent me a text deriding my sense of fashion and telling me I should kill myself. Some things never change. The doctors are considering doing a transplant anyway because they're crazy like that.
Molly is doing much better. When I got her back from the vet, she was troublingly anorexic, farting constantly, having violent nightmares and her back legs were flailing around like she was on ice skates every time she tried to run. Now she only farts sometimes.
Tara, unfortunately, is no longer with us. She was bitten by a rattlesnake while tending to her family's 200 acre farm in the heart of beautiful downtown Boca. The ensuing struggle and ruckus angered a nearby nest of Asian giant hornets and she drowned in a canal while trying to evade them. She died while en route to Wuerzburg Army Hospital after they were unable to stabilize her condition during the 16 hour flight. You will be missed.

Tune in for more updates next week!

There are 5 comments about this post:

comment #0, posted by B.A.C. at 09/04/2007 10:56am Reply

Am I the only one that has an indestructible immune system around here?!

I am the eggman

comment #1, posted by Lackner at 09/04/2007 10:58am Reply

Just wait for the Asian giant hornets, Bryan. Just wait.

pop lock and drop it

comment #2, posted by ally is awesome™ at 09/04/2007 4:10pm Reply

poor tara

the last living member of the "boca anarchy".

comment #3, posted by Lackner at 09/04/2007 4:54pm Reply

cant believe she's ded :(

comment #4, posted by tara at 09/04/2007 6:05pm Reply

im back from the dead thanks to the miami nights seance held before the labor daze party.

thanks guys!

i beat bitches up.

Miami Nights