The Miami Summer Vacation, otherwise known as hurricane season, has been overly quiet this year. We haven't had one sweltering, A/C-deprived weather incident to speak of aside from some monsoon-style rains that did damage to the East Side power grid (thanks, FPL, for using wood and thumbtacks wherever possible; is this because I never pay my bill?). That means we've had to actually work every day, or at least pretend to be working while snoozing with our eyes open at our desks like we're in some freaky labor camp.
Now it seems that fat fuck Poseidon has gotten his ass in gear and decided to throw some hurricanes at us. Specifically, he's sending Dean to Jamaica. This isn't fair for a couple of reasons:
- No one really works in Jamaica anyway, so they won't be able to enjoy the time off.
- No one has power in Jamaica, so they won't really appreciate Poseidon's wrath. P-man, imagine a bunch of stuck up rich Cocoplum punks sweating and lamenting Bougainvilleas being closed. Isn't that more rewarding?
- The last thing we need is a bunch of tourists bound for cruises to Jamaica to be stuck in Miami for a week, sweating on me in their tacky "so Miami!" linen and flip flops and using unusual accents and vocabulary ("pop", "lorry", "no means no!", etc.)
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