Miami Heat Freeze

by Duran, 01/02/2008

You know what sucks? Standing on the Metrorail platform with nothing more than a light Gap wool sweater to protect you from horrid wind gusts cold enough to retract your testicles all the way up to your brain. And for all you "northerners" pointing and laughing at us because we are complaining of 50-degree weather, fuck you! This is Miami, and while the city is definitely associated with some sort of snow (second coke reference today, must be a record), bitter cold weather never pops into anyone's mind when they think about about the city.

Oh and if you think you are cold now, just you wait the Herald warns. Tonight Miami will dip into the 40s, while western parts of the county (da 'burbs) might hit the freezing point.

Seriously, this isn't fucking funny -- bring me some heat now. And for everyone who says "Oh, I love when Miami gets this type of weather" I'd personally like to punch you in the face.

[Image of adorable freezing Miami-Dade homeless man via the Miami Herald]

Comments disabled Tags: Bitching, Weather
There are 6 comments about this post:
comment #0, posted by Lackner at 01/02/2008 1:43pm Reply
This is very bad timing on the part of God. Hello, cold weather is for CHRISTMAS! Defrosting my balls with an acetylene torch is no way to start the new year.
pop lock and drop it
comment #1, posted by SAMURAI at 01/02/2008 6:32pm Reply
I still found it funny today when all the douche bag NYE tourists, who only packed T-Shirts, were shivering down lincoln road with thier 3 dollar lobster tans and deep sullen frowns that only could only be a resulting culmination of the previous night's shameful fuck regret, shitty street coke, and unexpected cold ass weather. Go home to middle america you average cunts!!!


Oh by the way.. Samurai is back, and I apologize in advance for my offensive behavior.
ceci n'est pas un Samurai
comment #2, posted by Grog Argh at 01/03/2008 06:43am Reply
What the blue-blazes does COLD weather have to do with Christmas? Jesus NEVER (repeat) NEVER saw any snow!!! He was born surrounded by Palm and Date trees in the DESERT.

I personally think its a BIG JOKE that we have been BRAINWASHED into associating the holiday with cold weather - making our homes appear "snowy" and getting pagan Christmas trees from some cold-as-heck climate. What a joke - especially here in South Florida when it was 82 degrees that day.

What about the bottom half of the planet? What about THEIR Christmas? is it any less because they are in SUMMER warm months and not Winter? Tell that to the Brazilians going to the beach in Rio. Talk about missing the whole point of it all.

The part I LOATHE the most about holiday week and when all the NYC transplants in this city always start their whining "It doesn't feel like Christmas because its not COLD."

ARGH!
comment #3, posted by SAMURAI at 01/03/2008 11:27am Reply
Last time I checked the story of Santa Claus,no matter how fucking dumb it is, is set in the North Pole hence the cold weather. So save your blue blazes for a diatribe that makes sense bro....

lame-
ceci n'est pas un Samurai
comment #4, posted by Pris at 01/03/2008 6:44pm Reply
Amen Duran. Tottally agree. I'm from NYC and I moved here for a reason..TO GET AWAY FROM THE COLD! It's not enough that I have to put on 16 layers of clothes to walk my dog but just looking at the snowbird fools makes me freeze my tits.
comment #5, posted by Grog Argh at 01/04/2008 05:52am Reply
DUH?

No comment.

"Bro"

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