Hialeah - The City that Bores

by B.A.C., 01/12/2009

As a neighbor to one of the shittiest cities in Miami I know quite a bit about Hialeah. Known to it's residents as "La Cuidad que Progressa" or for you gringos "The City of Progress", this industrial/residential/shithole apartment city has been a part of my life in some way or another since I was born. And since I have all this real life experience of Hialeah I like to consider myself a laureate of sorts on the subject.

Recently Forbes magazine published an article about the most boring big cities in America. Here is how they quantified their results:

To get a measure of which got the least media attention over the last year, we looked at 2008 news coverage of the country's 100 largest cities in national media outlets--newspapers the Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today and The Wall Street Journal; national newsweeklies Time and Newsweek; and national business magazines Forbes, Fortune and BusinessWeek. Since larger cities are expected to (and indeed do) receive significantly more press attention than smaller ones, we measured coverage on a per-capita basis to even the playing field.

So granted this "study" doesn't take in to account hooker per citizen ratios or shitty strip club per unhappy husband ratios etc, but the more press your city gets nationally the better it looks right? Even bad press, cause as the saying goes "Any press is good press". Based on their methods Hialeah ranks as a fucking boring city. I can attest to that being a laureate on the matter. I honestly never had fun in that city. I have dated girls in Hialeah (baaaaaaack in the days so no jokes bitches), have many friends there who agree Hialeah sucks and since I graduated from University have made it a point to never ever return to Hialeah.

If you think Hialeah is fun then by all means speak up in the comments. But if you actually live there then your biased and subjective opinions won't mean shit to me. There is one thing I will give Hialeah, the fact that it has so many sport facilities for soccer, tennis, basketball etc. Other than that everything about the city sucks ass. Westland Mall anyone? Let's not even dwell into the broski-tribal-tattoo-nooquebarato aspect of the city.

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Comments disabled Tags: Greater Miami, News, Things We Already Knew
There are 24 comments about this post:
comment #0, posted by Papa Juanko at 01/14/2009 10:54am Reply
west hialeah is the shit. east hialeah is a shit hole.
comment #1, posted by B.A.C. at 01/14/2009 11:09am Reply
Elaborate please? I worked in West Hialeah for 5 years and I can't recall anything good about it. Unless you consider Westland Mall the shit?
I am the eggman
comment #2, posted by J*SANCHEZ at 01/14/2009 1:36pm Reply
and to think thant Hialeah was home to one of the most influential dance clubs in the 305 (Casanovas)
gimme a beat!
comment #3, posted by Ivis at 01/14/2009 1:47pm Reply
Hi Bryan,
You Suck. Hialeah is awesome. I love living here. Get off your high horse you Miami Springs Snob.
Love
Ivis
comment #4, posted by B.A.C. at 01/14/2009 4:16pm Reply
IVIS!!!!! Love ya. loooooooong time no see or speak. Hope all is well with you and Adriel. And yes, I am a Miami Springs snob =P
I am the eggman
comment #5, posted by michael m at 01/14/2009 5:47pm Reply
You can find the best married cuban bisexual men there. I should know, lol
comment #6, posted by Abel at 01/14/2009 9:12pm Reply
Lifelong Hialeah resident right here. It sucks.

I mean, I honestly don't know another way to put it. There's nothing to do; you have two choices: the shitty mall, or the movie theater that smells like piss. It's your pick of which bodily waste you like more.
comment #7, posted by metro305 at 01/15/2009 2:35pm Reply
Since I graduated University I make it a point to visit Hialeah whenever I visit for food and friends. I grew up a good portion of my life just across the street from Westland Mall (The Towers of Westland) and later moving to the frontier of North Dade.

Yes it maybe boring but a it has a special place in my heart.
comment #8, posted by B.A.C. at 01/15/2009 2:45pm (reply to comment #7 by metro305) Reply
Since I graduated University I make it a point to visit Hialeah whenever I visit for food and friends. I grew up a good portion of my life just across the street from Westland Mall (The Towers of Westland) and later moving to the frontier of North Dade.

Yes it maybe boring but a it has a special place in my heart.


For food I miiiiiight give you that. I have a soft spot for Morro Castle believe it or not....Oh and El tropico - Casa de Churrasco....But even those haven't lured me back into the city and doesn't change the fact Hialeah is boring.
I am the eggman
comment #9, posted by blackastronaut.blogspot.com at 01/16/2009 10:09pm Reply
UMMMMMMM, I THOUGHT THAT NORTH MIAMI IS THE CITY OF PROGRESS. FACT CHECKING TIME!
comment #10, posted by B.A.C. at 01/17/2009 08:12am Reply
http://www.hialeahfl.gov/

First paragraph. Fact checked@!
I am the eggman
comment #11, posted by Alex at 02/01/2009 6:08pm Reply
West Hialeah is decent compared to East. We may have embarrassing malls, and tragic citizens but we have Target, Kohls,Best Buy,Starbucks,Staples,etc...so were catching up to everyone else, and were only like 3-5 min distance from 826 or 10 min drive down 103rd to 95...were in a central location to just about all of miami.

And I agree Miami Springs people are snobs for no reason...They are parallel with okeechobee and next door to medley and the airport.

Miami Lakes Snobs>Miami Springs Snobs

BTW Hi Ivis...my hialeah neighbor. How is adriel and the dogs? funny running into you here lol
comment #12, posted by Chunky chicks of Hialeah at 02/11/2009 9:37pm (reply to comment #3 by Ivis) Reply
Ivis, you need to get out of Hialeah to realize how bad it is. I think Detroit might be more interesting than Hialeah's porky delights. = Chunky Chicks of Hialeah
comment #13, posted by Chunky chicks of Hialeah at 02/11/2009 9:40pm (reply to comment #11 by Alex) Reply
Alex,
All of Hialeah is sad, except for its sports facilities. I suggest you travel more. Who the hell wants to live next to the Palmetto anyway? Do you live under it?
=-Chunky Chicks of Hialeah
comment #14, posted by Miaow823 at 07/17/2009 09:58am (reply to comment #13 by Chunky chicks of Hialeah) Reply
Alex,
All of Hialeah is sad, except for its sports facilities. I suggest you travel more. Who the hell wants to live next to the Palmetto anyway? Do you live under it?
=-Chunky Chicks of Hialeah


Hialeah isn't sad, just it's traffic and it's cliche refs with their holier-than-thou attitudes, Hollister/Abercrombie t-shirts, and taste for the "good" life. I live next to the Palmetto, and I have no complaints about it. HOWEVER, I am partial to Hialeah since I've lived here my whole life, but only because of sentimental reasons. I hate the traffic, and I can't stand the fact that when you step outside for five minutes, you come back with hair and clothes that smell like wind and sun, and it is NOT a happy mix in Hialeah.

That's just my family though, I haven't heard anyone else complain about that, lol.
comment #15, posted by Guy at 11/30/2009 11:35pm Reply
AGREED! Hialeah is nothing but a fucking worthless low class ghetto shithole. I lived there for 3 years and it was by far the worst 3 years of my life. The people are rude and classless. Nothing but low class ghetto hispanic trash everywhere. The mall and shopping malls suck. The theatres also suck. Hialeah has nothing going for it. It's a boring and shitty city not worth going to or living in. I now live in Kendale and i love it. It's nice and quiet here.
comment #16, posted by yomismo at 04/28/2010 8:27pm Reply
Living in a better city doesn't make you a better person . sometime you are more trash than most people just a trash with money

You guys are a lot of racists people... In anyway you are middle class anyway living wherever you wants you still have not class or you will not talk like this .... By the way Miami was considerate last year like a very low class living so not matter if you are in Coral gables Miami spring or Pinecrest you are Here . Ohhh for the university graduates ,. Of course you will not come back to Hialeah ., Now you got to go in the middle of the country to get a job . So now you dont live in a shithole .. Now you live in a redneck shithole with horse shit all around you ...

MEJOR CONSIGANSE UN TRABAJO Y UNA MUJER PARA QUE DEJEN DE HABLAR MIERDA EN LA RED PARTIA DE VAGOS INUTILES LOSERS Y RACISTAS .VIVIR EN UNA MEJOR CIUDAD NO TE HACE MEJOR AL RESTO , MUCHAS VECES ERES PEOR PERSONA Q MUCHAS PERSONAS HONESTAS EN HIALEAH ...

Anyone who doesn't speek spanish and couldn't read this .... I don't give a fuck because I live in Hialeah and Im latino .....
comment #17, posted by Bob at 04/29/2010 9:16pm Reply
Too bad you'll never be taken seriously in this country as a latino, shitheel.
comment #18, posted by lily12 at 08/08/2010 00:22am Reply
Mira Bob eres un come pinga. Hialeah has its annoying things but there are a lot of hard working humble people. Cubans come to this country and do a lot better then a lot of lazy ass red necks. Eres un ignorante y racista!! Soon their will be more latinos in this country y te vas a cagar en tu madre estupido!!!
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