Miami Nights

Before the 3 readers left get into an great fashion tizzy; yes, everyone has the right to wear whatever the hell they want.  The question I usually have for most is "what mirror (if any) do you have hanging in your room"  Alas, some recent outings have had me scratching my head at the decisions some poeple make with regard to apparel.  As such, I began to jot down some of my own guidelines/advice/thoughts about style.  

• Cuffed or not… jorts will always be jorts.
• Gentlemen: Brown suits= FAIL
• Gentlemen: If you can only afford one suit make it black, 2 button, single breasted with well fitted, flat front pants. 
• Gentlemen: Patent leather shoes are ONLY acceptable whilst wearing a tuxedo.
• Ladies: Patent leather shoes in the day time is tacky.
• You will always look dumb wearing a scarf in 90 degree weather.  Always.
• Ladies: kindly refrain from matching you bag, belt, and shoes, no matter what your abuelita told you.
• Ladies: While your mani and pedi do not have to match each other, you don’t want to do like an OPI display either.  
• When mixing patterns, keep in the same color family to avoid looking like a fabric sample store.
• Corduroy and summer do not mesh.  Ever.
• Dressing ironically is stupid.
• Proportion and fit is more important than size.  
• Just because something fits, doesn’t mean you can pull it off. 
• Ladies: Not everyone can pull of ankle covering footwear (read: cankle alert). 
• Gentlemen: facial hair- just because you can grow it doesn’t mean you should.  
• My lovely lesbians: Lil’ Wayne is not a good style icon.
• If you have ask “does this make me look ______(insert any negative adjective) ?” change into something else.
• Ladies: Wearing you hair in pigtails after the age 21 is not nearly as “cute” as you think it is.  Grow up.
• Always engage your core (a.k.a. suck in your stomach).  
• Never slouch.
• No matter what Anna Wintour says, black is always good option.