Miami Nights

WE INTERUPPT OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOGGING TO BRING THE LATEST FIELD REPORT FROM FEROSH VERNACULAR WHO IS RISKING LIFE AND A GOOD HAIR DAY TO BRING YOU THIS BREAKING YET USELESS REPORT.

This is Ferosh Vernacular reporting live just outside the Miami-Dade County Consumer Services Department (140 West Flagler Street) where what was supposed to be a historic day for everyone has turned into a tragic tale of voodoo and homophobia.  As I reported on Friday, today at 10:00 just inside this building on the 9th floor, the very first County recognized registry for domestic partners was to have taken place.  The rejoicing has been put on hold with the likes of Tropical Storm Fay setting her sights on us.  After some make believe investigative reporting I have been able to unearth a fictional memo penned by the powers that be at the Christian Coalition in association with Fidel Castro and Satan.  Apparently this Triumvirate of Evil (TOE-yes, that is what they are calling themselves) has managed to exhume the fabled CrystalMeth Skull from the Lost City of Crakiopea.  Using the skull's mystical powers, TOE has managed to open the Hell Mouth where the tortured soul of an unfortunate Plantations Daughter (Fay), who was attacked with a nasty perm by a crazed "flamboyant" hairdresser prior to meeting her gentleman caller and thus had to endure bad frizzy hair and never had a date again all while her plantation was burned by the North, has been unleashed on the World to take her revenge on all the homosexuals. 

In lieu of this new report the gays-n-friends have said fuck it let's party (it is Miami after all).

Famed Party Boy Andrews Lorenzana and Co. are doing it up as only they can for "The Offical Fay Hurricane Party" @ eXposure tonight.  You get a free shot if you show up in your bathing suit (and a lot more no doubt if you take it off).  See you tonight!