An Idiot's Guide to Art Basel
I know the idea of art and art-related events can be daunting and downright scary to some. Trust me, being in a room surrounded by intellectuals talking about what the artist was trying to convey when he decided to display a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling can be confusing (or is that just a light bulb hanging from a ceiling?). Anyway, cultural events in general tend to intimidate people. I don't know why. However, I decided to put together some Art Basel and Off Basel essentials guidelines when visiting a fair, gallery or museum:
1. Shut up for a minute and look. Not only do I find it highly rude when I person is yapping away at a museum or art gallery, but I don't think it's necessary or adds anything to the art experience. The reason you are there is to be stimulated visually, there should be no reason you need to have a prolong conversation unless you are talking about the piece. Even then, keep your voice at a moderate level, something Miamians in general aren't particularly good at. The lone exception are the art festivals themselves, where the art is there not for the general publics enjoyment. Money talks!
2. Take your time. A piece doesn't usually smack you over the head with its message in 30 seconds. If it's a freestanding sculpture, it's meant to be walked around 360 degrees. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people just see a sculpture from the front and then just walk away. If it's a painting, photograph or mixed-used, observe it carefully. Even the medium the artist chose to express him or herself can reveal a lot about what he or she is trying to say. This also applies to all the festivals. Be prepared, because you aren't going to be able to visit and see everything. That's just how it is. Use your time wisely and savor the things you are able to see.
3. If there artist is present, talk to him or her. Art Basel weekend is a rare event in that many artists will be in town along with their work. Don't be afraid to approach and ask questions. Some artists don't like to say what they were trying to convey with a piece. Most like the viewer to come up with his or her own interpretation. Why? Because everyone can come up with a different conclusion as to what the message of a particular piece is. But just talking to them will provide a lot of insight, plus you might learn a thing or two. There will also be some round table discussion with artists at some events, so try to attend some of them.
4. Go early! Don't wait until Sunday to visit any of the fairs and exhibits. After all, the art on display is for sale, therefore when purchased could be taken off display. Some art collectors want to purchase pieces so it can be for their eyes only, so you'll probably never see some of these pieces again unless it is donated to a museum later on. Luckily, some collectors (such as the Rubells and Margulies) like to share their love for art with the rest of the world. Also, a lot of galleries are not going to be around all weekend, and will pack up early. So if you wait until Sunday to check out the fairs, you might find there isn't much to see.
5. Don't buy into the hype. Hype is one of the worse traps artists and galleries will do to lure potential buyers and viewers. A piece should speak for itself. I went to one gallery not too long ago in Wynwood that had an obscene exhibition title while the exhibition was anything but. The title added nothing to the exhibition and in my eyes was nothing but a clever ploy to attract people. So yes, it will happen this weekend, so be wary. Keep your eyes and ears open. Most people are honest, if it's great you'll hear about it non-stop all weekend.
6. Talk to everyone, you never know who you'll meet. For those looking to attend some more exclusive events, the key to gaining access to them if you aren't VIP is to talk to people. That's right, make conversation with people around you. Who knows, you might be talking to an artist or gallery owner who is so impressed by your theoretical analysis of German photo montage that he or she might extend an invitation. If not, you at least had a stimulating conversation for a change.
7. Dress appropriately. It is not okay to walk into any of these weekend events in sandals and shorts. While art-related events tend to be a little more relaxed regarding the dress code, no one is dressed sloppy. No need for a full-on tuxedo or suit (of course, unless you mean business or attending a gala event), but blazers, dress shirts, slacks and clean denim are a must. Women, keep the club wear at home and the tits mostly covered (I mean you don't need to be a nun). Artists themselves are usually the most relaxed dressers, but I guess when you are selling paintings $10,000 a pop you can dress however you damn well please. Although, there will be some art events that you will be able to get away with the T-shirt and jeans look (The I'm-so-arty look), but for the most part if Art Basel is sponsoring the event it, try to look a little more put together than usual.
8. Park your car and leave it there. If you don't already know Art Basel is offering free bus service to Wynwood and the Design District, even if you are part of the general public. I'm pretty sure you need to provide proof that you are an Art Basel attendee, but do Miami a favor and keep your car off the road if possible. Our traffic is bad enough, we don't want hundreds of lost arty folk driving around Miami.
9. It's not okay to get drunk at an opening. Free booze is tempting, especially when it is something you usually cannot afford, but never and I mean NEVER is it okay to get hammered at any kind of art function. No only do you run the risk of throwing up and potentially knocking something down, but you are going to make a fool of yourself at the event. Most likely whoever is in charge is going to ask you to leave.
10. It's Art Bah-sel. The pronunciation is Art Bah-sel (like a sheep! baaaa!), not Bay-sel (like the herb). Trust me, I'm even guilty of this crime at times. And if you mess up some yuppie/arty type will be quick to correct you, so save yourself the embarrassment. Of course, not every guideline applies to every situation so use something we Miamians tend to lack, common sense! There are a lot of things to do this weekend, so don't fret. If you can't get into the Yoko Ono party at the Sagamore tomorrow, move on to the next. Trust me, there are so many parties and events, you are bound to get into one of them.
