MiamiNights - Miami Night Clubs, Nightlife

InTheVIP.com is a porn site that specializes in the unlikely subject of getting it on inside nightclubs. They're rumored to do much of their shooting in Miami, which made me very curious about the setting of one particular video. I couldn't figure out what club it was on my own, so I figured I'd turn you kids loose on the subject. To make it more interesting, the most convincing guess gets a free bottle at Dek23 on Thursday night for the reopening of Smac's party called Basic (formerly held at Suite).

Here's a pic from the film. Note our artistic use of silhouetting which allows you to really focus on who the girl is, rather than being distracted by all that superficial stuff. If you want to see the original (NSFW), click each photo.

For more clues, continue reading after the jump! Let us know in the comment section what club you think this might be.

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I know, there is simply to much to going on during Winter Music Conference to possibly wrap ones mind around. But because of the there is so much you need someone like us help disseminate the madness. You can click the "read more" link below to see an eflyer of BED's entire line up but I will point out a few nights that are worth your time:

Wednesday 3/26

• The MAU5TRAP featuring DeadMAU5, Tommy Lee + DJ Aero, Chris Lake, Sydney Blu, BSOD, WTF?

Thursday 3/27

• Marine Parade featuring Adam Freeland with Evil Nine, Alex Metric and more TBA

UPDATE Monday 3/17 Pre-WMC debauchery

• UPDATESecret Society Mondays. Rumors that Jenna Jamessons Club Jenna will be in house with all her vixens pillow fighting the night away....Someone sneak me into a pillowcase please?

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With the economy in the toilet, all my beauty treatments have been suspended until further notice. That means plucking my own eyebrows, painting my own nails and buying Queen Helene’s $3.99 Mint Julep Facial Mask at CVS. Oh, the horror! There’s nothing like settling for beer budget beauty solutions when you’re a gal with champagne taste.

Lucky for us there’s SNIP Salon. Located on 456 Arthur Godfrey Road in a building that used to house the CIA headquarters, SNIP can wax and peel perfection without requiring fingerprints or 49 forms of ID. Offering the works: haircuts, manicures, pedicures, facials, massage and hair removal of all kinds.

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It's the eighth day into a new month that just so happens to be the first month of a brand New Year. Resolutions were made, people got laid, and the music industry is about to get paid. Oh my, did I just rhyme?

With just a bit over a week in 2008, the year has already shaped itself to become yet another monumental one for the entertainment business. Some of my personal highlights already have slated plans for release in the first quarter of the year. Here is a nice selection of some I believe will be all the rage.

• Madonna - TBA  Her much anticipated, and extremely tight-lipped 11th studio project is set for a release sometime soon.The album is being promoted as Madonna giving hip-hop the same treatment she did for disco on Confessions. I adore Madonna, I live for Madonna, I wish I were Madonna. Let's just hope Madonna stays into the groove on this one.
• Janet Jackson - Discipline  She closed out 2007 with a track that got people's heads turning. Nipplegate wha?? On February 26th Miss Jackson, who's a bit nasty, will release her 10th studio album on her brand new label Island/Def Jam. Just in time too, cause I'm totally over Rihanna.
• The B-52's - Funplex  After a 16-year absence from music, The World's Greatest Party Band is back with all new tracks. Excitement can't even begin to describe how I feel. With Steve Osbourne producing the Astralwerks release, that shit is going to be hot!
• Goldfrapp - Seventh Tree  As if you didn't know this year was gracing us with new work from Goldfrapp. Have you seen the teaser?? February 26th will be such a glorious day.
• Weezer - TBA  Album Six for the moment is the title the foursome is referring their new album to. The boys state that after many challenging goals they have each accomplished, the album with a release on April 22nd is one to look forward to.
• Hot Chip - Made In The Dark  Third time is always a charm, and Hot Chip already has that trait in the bag. With Shake A Fist already banging, February 5th will be filled with more Hot Chip sweetness!
• Michael Jackson - Thriller 25  Looks like a big year for the Jackson's, and one they certainly deserve. The biggest selling album of all time is getting re-issued with some super fresh extras. Out this February 11th.
• Fischerspooner - TBA  The only reason why Bang Music Fest was able to host a second event was solely based on the diversity of their acts. Remember the day Fischerspooner down right, um, tore it up? Well they're back with power, power. Their new single The Best Revenge has just been released which will lead us to a brand new album sometime this year.
• Ladytron - TBA  They're new, yet to be titled fourth effort is set to release in May. After Witching Hour, I'm ecstatic to see what's next.
• Bauhaus - Going Away White  This will be an album that will deliver everything you could hope for as a final statement. The iconic Goth ensemble will release their final piece of musical enhancement on March 4th.

Look out for future releases from The Faint, Massive Attack, Mariah Carey, Roxy Music, R.E.M., The Raveonettes, Xiu Xiu, The Breeders, and Dido

Ah yes, 2008 certainly is looking great! Damn, I did it again!

I has a confessions. Molly is my 5 pound Miniature Pinscher. She and I have had a chastity vow since we started dating because we felt that, if we are truly in love - real love, romantic love, can't-wait-to-get-home-and-snuggle love - then there is no reason to rush into dirty meaningless sex. We've been waiting, and that's beautiful, and that's romance. And now it's all going to be for nothing.

We are being systematically raped of our rights by ivory tower closed-minded bible thumping conservative politicians who are in a rush to put a band aid on the made-up problem of human-animal love just to score some votes in the upcoming election season. (No one wants to be the candidate who "loves sex with animals.") And all this because one hick gets drunk and rapes and murders a goat. What if we banned human-human sex every time that happened?! Sheesh.

Let me ask you this: who's complaining? Surely not the animals. When was the last time you saw an iguana bitching about how much dirty sex it's having with that hot blonde waif from down the street? I've never heard of a donkey complaining about the thread count of the sheets on the water bed after spending its life in a drafty old barn.

Wake up, sheeple! First they take our goatsex rights, then they barcode our foreheads! 911 was an inside job! Stand up for your man-beast sex rights!

Oh well. We still have Georgia.

Just got this in from the good people who brought us the incredibly entertaining (*sarcasm*) show on VH1 Hogan Knows Best (Thank god I don't have cable). Pink Sneakers Productions is looking for talented liars, hams, self centered twits and the likes for their reality show. Let's be honest, you gotta be one of the above if you wanna make it on TV. But seriously here are the requirements. They are currently looking for men and women who:

• Appear to be in their late 20's to early 30's
• are unmarried, but not necessarily unattached
• are interested in having their lives documented on national television
• live a fascinating life filled with exciting & dramatic stories

Click the "Read more" link for the entire press release and contact information.

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That explains the smell! Assparade has graced our beautiful building with their ever-sloppy video antics. Ass Parade's "Elena" (definitely NSFW) appears to have been filmed in Parc Lofts apartment #101 (next to the pool). I guess I'm not the only one producing.. uhm.. original content.

I'm going to be perversely optimistic here and suggest that this will cause an infinitesimally small boost in property values: attention Realtors, be sure to add that to the pack of lies you tell potential buyers. "Thisss apartment is H-O-T, fellas! This is the exact spot where the fabulous and graceful Elena did the Prone Bone! I've been told by a reliable source that at night if you listen closely you can still hear her howling like a schtuck piiiig! I wouldn't lie to you about thissssss.."

No word on whether a ten person HazMat crew was necessary to clean up the babyjunk puddles and whatever came out of that Herpes-status tranny-looking Puerto Rican $2-a-ride heifer.