It looks like Joey's Wynwood is going to be an unqualified success, at least judging by the number of Ferraris and other exotic cars parked outside. Anyone check it out yet?
As of Monday, the well-known local South Miami eatery, Beverly Hills Cafe has shut it's doors. Considering some recent P.R. debacles (Dirty Dining Report anyone?) as well as the ever increasing pressure from newer more updated dining options in the area (Carrabas, Outback, Towne, Sushi RA) this long standing institution finally succumbed to the inevitable. Unfortunately for the staff they found out when they got to work on Monday morning as the management sent everyone home (classy, eh?). So good bye yummy delicious terrible for my waist line warm rolls, so long endless salads options, see you when i see you teriyaki grill. Looks like I'll have to trek to Lakes for my BHC fix from now on. C'est la vie.

Word is from All Purpose Dark that posh downtown steak house Prime Blue Grille is celebrating it's 1 year anniversary. And to celebrate such a milestone in the restaurant business the establishment will be serving bottomless wine glasses of 10-12 wines during lunch and dinner. And mind you the wine is free. In addition to the free wine (!) All Purpose states the restaurant is serving fixed price 3 course meals for lunch and dinner in the ranges of $26 and $36 respectively. That sounds like a good deal to me! The specials start Monday July 28 thru August 2. Check out All Purpose Dark for more deetz.
[Via SFDB]
I finally had the opportunity to make it out to Bin no. 18 on Biscayne Blvd and 18th St. Granted I know the place has been open for a while and many others have reviewed the food and restaurant itself but now that I have been able to experience it I have a few comments to make. We decided to go last night for the Chimay beer tasting and then stay for dinner. Upon arrival the place was packed. I didn't expect so many people but with the gay choruses in in Downtown it was understandable that the staff seemed frazzled. After a checking the place out, sipping on Chimay and letting things calm down we were finally able to get a table and begin to appreciate our surroundings.
I personally like the industrial loft look for restaurants, though they could have done without the tacky chandeliers. Also of note was the lack of small two person tables. Many of the tables were set for 4 or more people which leaves very little space for couples going out to eat. Maybe it's me but the more seating the more business right? They need to break up those marble hightop seating into just two person seating and they would solve that problem. I like how they have the wine, cheese and beer type deli thing going on in the back. I can imagine myself going there and buying a plate of cheese and enjoying a fine wine with friends or a date.
We started with the Beet carpaccio which I must admit was fantastic. I had never seen beet carpaccio before so I was intrigued. Sprinkled with blue cheese, walnuts and baby spinach leaves it was very refreshing and delicious. Good start. We then moved to main courses in which the lady I was with had the salmon and I differed to the duck leg. Here is where things get iffy. My Confit de Canard duck leg was sublime, soft and tender. With baby spinach and warm cranberry vinaigrette it was an absolute delight down to the last morsel. My lady friend decided to go with the Roasted Salmon Fillet with roasted asparagus and sweet potato topped with pumpkin. While the sides were very tasty the salmon was rather raw and chewy. I could tell by the look on her face the moment she took her first bite something was wrong. The kinda face you put when you just drizzled down your leg by mistake. Yes that bad. By then end of the meal she had finished the salmon besides the fact it was mildly raw so it couldn't have been all that terrible. Over all a nice evening and a nice place. I'll have to go again when all the gay singers are outta town and the staff is more relaxed. Bin no. 18 is located on Biscayne Blvd and 18st.
Just reminding everyone tomorrow the South Beach Food & Wine Festival starts and goes on until Sunday. If you aren't planning to attend any of the festival events I suggest you steer clear of the Beach since traffic is most certainly going to be a nightmare. Tickets for the events went on sale months ago, so if you didn't purchase them then, guess what? There's a good chance you ain't getting them now. Tickets for most of the high-profile events are sold out, but there are still plenty of tickets available for other events. The best deals are usually the packages, but most of those are long gone.
Plenty of celebrity chefs are scheduled to appear such as Mario Batali, Bobby Flay, Govind Armstrong, Michelle Bernstein, Anthony Bourdain, Rocco DiSpirito, Padma Lakshmi, Nobu Matsuhisa, Jamie Oliver and, of course, the world's most annoying faux chef Rachael Ray. And all this actually benefits something good, believe it or not. The proceeds benefit FIU's School of Hospitality Management, which is actually one of the organizations who started the festival 7 years ago.
I was surprised to discover today, weeks after posting my negative review of the gross Five Guys burger shop in Midtown Miami, people with generically anonymous names chiming in to aggressively defend the restaurant. These are comments that couldn't possibly be true if they had actually visited the Five Guys in question:
The staff was the opposite of rude they took a lot of time to talk me through the menu and although I did not take a survey on their educational backgrounds each person I spoke to was engaging and articulate.
This bothered me. My super nerd "this smells fishy" sense was tingling sexily. This post has been up for a while - surely everyone who is actually from Miami has already read it. Why would someone jump in now, especially to defend it while calling me an "absolute idiot"?
I did a bit more research. Both of the two comments were posted from the same IP address, but with different names. That, of course, is a huge red flag that the person commenting is full of it. Then I discovered that the IP is actually owned by AT&T and used by their WorldNet operations in Washington DC. Why would someone in Washington DC be so irate about a review of a restaurant in Miami?
I dug moar. And moar and moar. Lo and behold, the FiveGuys.com domain is registered in a suburb of DC, and they have a ton of positive magazine reviews from DC-area rags. I can't view their contact information, because that page of their site is down. I guess they prefer to read reviews on blogs rather than get feedback from their real customers.. that helps explain the poor customer experience.
Could it be that Five Guys employees have to stoop so low as to astroturf comments on our little slice of the Internet? Draw your own conclusions based on the evidence I've presented. If it is true, you'd think they'd actually visit the store and maybe cause some improvements, rather than sitting at their desks and typing on their (surely grease-stained) keyboards. But I guess if they were that smart, the restaurant wouldn't be so terrible in the first place..
Update: The commenter in question has posted this reply about why I'm wrong, dead wrong.. see more after the jump!
It was being reported late last week the Karu Restaurant (of the Karu & Y complex) had closed for good. Well that wasn't exactly true. It is closed, but will reopen again in time for Winter Music Conference. Y Ultra Lounge though is still operating three times a week.
But why is it closed in the first place? Because when Karu launched back in late 2006 it fell flat on its face. Many complained that for the shockingly expensive meal -- even by South Beach standards, and this place ain't in South Beach -- the experience was more like walking into a Denny's. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but with the Herald's review and all the feedback I've heard from people who've dine there I can say the biggest complaints were that they food was uninspiring, the service was okay but not fantastic and the owners were relying too heavily on the novelty of a high-end restaurant in the middle of Overtown.
So what's a struggling multi-million dollar restaurant to do? Fire the inexperienced chef that had no business running the kitchen in the first place and bring someone in who will give the place a swift kick in the ass. I imagine they might take the time to do some cosmetic changes as well, but I'm pretty sure the biggest difference will be the food and service.
[via South Florida Daily Blog]
Semifamous burger slophouse Five Guys Burgers and Fries have opened a Midtown Miami location, with Kendall on the way. I'm pretty porcine when it comes to food, so I'm all about unusual burger joints.
Unfortunately, this one sucks. Their burger was ok but no better than the fabled Lackner Double Death Burger. I'm best at creating suffering and not delicious food, so when I can create a better burger than a "famous" chain, I raise an eyebrow. Their fries were good, but not out of this world: they are humiliated and ruined by the the sweet potato fries at the wholly superior Frankitude on Biscayne. Plus, double cheeseburger + large fries (a completely brolic amount; go medium next time) + large soda = $12.50. Joke.
So in summary, please go out of business.
Five Guys Famous Burgers and Fries3401 North Miami Avenue, Suite 214
Miami, FL 33127
305-571-8345
So says the blogger of Wormhole Lab in a comment on Critical Miami. You don't understand, I feel like my whole entire world is collapsing around me. I love Dogma Grill, particularly their amazing turkey dogs and mint lemonade. I think I'm going to go into mourning. Someone please tell me the other locations are safe for now, because if Dogma disappears, I might have to go start holding some people hostage until my demands are met.
Still even if the other ones remain open, this fucking sucks, because I always find myself conveniently close to the South Beach location. Now I'm going to have to remind myself to stop by Biscayne or go to the North Miami location if I want deliciousness served on a bun. I had a system!
[Image via Critical Miami]
It's no secret among the tabloid press that I happen to love a monster salad. That's why I'm so excited about the opening of the new Saladworks franchise near me on Brickell. I just placed my order by dialing their telephone number and my salad and soup are on the way. I'm pretty excited, I'm not going to lie to you. I will report back as soon as possible on my opinions of the meal.

185 N.W. 36th Street
Miami, Florida 33127
Map & Directions / 305-576-1008 / www.thelostandfoundsaloon-miami.com
I'm a straight male, mostly, and for that reason I have a certain unusual affection for pulled pork. I don't get to eat it as much as I'd like (which is during every TV commercial break), because my usual diet consists of something like this:
- Breakfast: Two desiccant packets with salt and pepper and six Redbulls.
- Lunch: 4,000 - 6,000 calories at either Mike's Venetia or Uva.
- Dinner: NO DINNER!
- Ten minutes after dinner: ok, maybe a little something..
In any case, I wasn't expecting much from Lost and Found Saloon. First of all, the location, in the heart of Wynwood's "Lil Baghdad" minidistrict, is not very cuisine friendly.
Second of all, frankly, the decoration scared me. When I was little I got kidnapped by some straight-talkin' Texas cattle ranchers and traded to the local Native American tribe in exchange for grazing rights on their traditional holy lands. I was tickled vengefully for weeks on end in their traditional party longhouse (to say nothing of their untraditional sex wigwam) and they got the whole thing on tape. Ever since then, wooden wall paneling and other south western decorative motifs have scared the heck out of me.
The food here is an interesting mix of artsy American fare and South Western tradition. That sounds like total nonsense, like the kind of place where you bite into a quesadilla and find a fig leaf, or truffle oil added to guacamole, but they actually manage to pull it off with a pretty good level of genuineness.
The burritos? Resplendent. The chicken dumpling soup? Glorious. My thesaurus is making me look super gay here, and the fact of the matter is that the only thing you'd rescue from this place if it was on fire is the pulled pork sandwich, which is the best I've had in all my years. Yes, that means better than Tom Jones in Broward, better than The Pit, better than Shorty's. It makes things happen inside my mouth which can only be described in languages other than English. It has avocado and cheese and illogical stuff like that.
Make it happen. Go all in. Get a pulled pork sandwich.

So you always wanted to sit down at that swanky restaurant on SoBe but realized you couldn't even afford an entree. Your girlfriend always bitches about how you only take her to the Taco Bell drive through on Biscayne at 3am. I know, it's tough looking in on all those pretty people dinning on their delicious mouth size fillet mignon while they mock you as you stare with those puppy eyes of poverty and malcontent. Well for my fellow miscreants and minimum wage makers the good people of the Greater Miami Visitors and Convention Bureau have felt our pain and bring us the sixth annual Miami Spice restaurant promotion deal which runs from August 1 through September.
For one month only you will be able to take that lovely girl (or man) of yours out for an evening of fine dining, wine sipping and thank you sex (the best kind after make up sex) for only $22 for lunch and $35 for dinner menus. Mind you this only includes your meal and not any add ons like coffee, wine,tip and tax. With more than eighty participants this year you have a myriad choice of the better establishments you could only hope to afford on a regular basis. Here are a few restaurants I got marked on my planner: Azul, Food Gang, Blue Door, Social Miami and Karu to name a few. You can find more info on Miami Spice here.
Hot damn, I can't wait until Miami Spice, which starts August 1, which is 18 days from now. For those unaware of what Miami Spice runs from the beginning of August until the end of September. During this time you can score a five-star meal at the unbelievable low price of $22 for lunch, $35 for dinner (plus tax and tip). I've only done dinner, but the $35 includes appetizer, entree and dessert. Of course, you are choosing from a set menu, but you can look before you buy at the Miami Spice website, to see if the menu appeals to you. And no, you aren't going to get Chili's-size portions here, but its filling (enough) once you've gone through all the courses.
Some of the places I definitely want to check out include Cacao, Karu & Y, Ortanique on the Mile, Table 8 and Social Miami, and probably return to some of favorites like North One 10, SushiSamba droMo, O Asian Grill and Talula.
Dammit, my diet is going to go to shit. I might as well stop eating now.
So I'm there at my secret getaway spot Lion Video in the Gables, Minding my own business and I catch this promo for Afrobeta performing every Tuesday in July. Seems normal enough, until I notice the venue, get this, Mama Lila's Bistro on Ponce! Finally! No way! A night to satisfy my thirst for electro ghetto funk and steak skewers! Don't believe me? Here's the flyer:

Oh Miami how you never cease to amaze me.
The New York/Chelsea restaurant and lounge transplant Cafeteria is closing its Lincoln Road location. Well actually, I'm hearing that tonight its closed for good. So no final hoorah. Place hosted many parties, most notably Future Mob's now defunct Friday night Alter Ego and more recently my friend Captain Awesome's Tuesday night party Station.
Anyway, I never really partied much there, and I didn't particular care for the food, even though everyone RAVED about it -- so I'm not crying any tears. Well mostly because my cold heart froze my tear ducts ages ago.
So long Cafeteria, we hardly knew ye!
[image via MiamiBeach411.com]
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s first talk about ambience. O Asian Grill is located where Rumi once held fort. While I can’t compare it to its previous incarnation, I do have to say O’s decorations are definitely impressive. When you walk in you have to pass by their very affordable and, from what I hear, very tasty noodle bar. On the first floor, they’ve managed to create a nice upscale bar atmosphere with a magnificent wooden chandelier that soars up high into the rafters. As you are walked to your table, which the restaurant portion is located on the second floor, you can't help but to look in amazement at this immense light fixture. Although dimly lit, mirrored walls and careful accent lighting make for comfortable dining.
Amendment XXI Lounge is a spot that I've always wanted to see take off but, save for the few weeks of Alter Ego, it never seemed to really find a fitting audience. That may be about to change as the venue appears to be under new management as evidenced by the sounds of French heard when entering the venue last night. They've revised the menu to be smaller which is a reasonable move, though I am saddened to see the hummus get dropped. Drinks seemed a bit watered down as well; is cranberry juice really a large enough expense to require this kind of pound-foolishness? Despite these flaws I sincerely hope the new management is better able to fill this spot; our neighborhood requires more chill spots to hide out at when the usual caves get old.
If anyone has any inside information about this situation, your anonymity is guaranteed: miaminightsblog@gmail.com
Jake's Bar & Grill6901 Red Rd
South Miami, FL 33134
(305) 662-8632
So they say when you are trying to impress a girl you should wine and dine her. I have a new concept...why don’t you try to wine and wine her. This week’s restaurant review takes us to Jakes Bar and Grill. Known as "a watering hole for grownups," it is a refreshing restaurant in the heart of South Miami. While Jakes is known as a bar and grill you wouldn't know it from the amazing atmosphere. Their presentation and layout is one to be admired by all entrepreneurs and I am surprised it isn’t packed every night. Once you walk in you feel like you are in a lounge instead of a fully functional restaurant.



























































































