MiamiNights - Miami Night Clubs, Nightlife

So guess who i bumped into last night at The Vagabond? Er, well, I'm guessing by the post title you know it was Lazaro Casanova. I've known him casually since my days of going to Revolver, so it was nice to come across him and chat for a while about all the things he's doing. If you don't know, MSTRKRFT has basically taken him under their wing, and he is releasing his own music and DJing all over the globe. Literally this guy is poised to become part of the new generation of Miami DJs going big (my other two picks would be Danny Daze and Otto Von Schirach).

It seems like he is rarely in Miami anymore, so I knew there had to be a good reason he was in town. He mentioned that this Thursday he'll be spinning at Dream. Now, his sets are nothing like the ones he used to spin at Revolver, instead he is playing gritty and dirty house music -- but good house music. If you like DJs like MSTRKRFT, Felix Cartal, Erol Alkan, Boys Noize and the likes, you'll love his shit.

Lazaro also has a new single available now on iTunes called "Venganza". Check it out, I think you'll be pleasanly surprised.

I love my bartenders. They keep me happy, get me drunk and even cut me some slack on my tab. One of my favorite bartenders has to be Sarah T. (she's the one on the right), formerly of Studio A, who finished her last week of bartending EVER at The Vagabond last week. She is leaving me for Los Angeles to become a stylist (which she is actually very good at doing). So in celebration of all the drunken times we spent together, we'll be wishing her farewell tonight at Fridays at The Vagabond. Stop by and say goodbye!

I'll miss you Sarah :( 

All Purpose Dark says Sushi Samba has announced they will be opening an "ultralounge" (god I hate that word) at Midtown Miam, which I imagine means the Shops at Midtown. The place will be called Sugarcane, which one already exists in New York so the concept isn't exactly new. If it is indeed opening at the Shops, I think this is exactly the kind of business the retail location needs. More cafes, bookstores, bars and lounges need to move into the available spaces. It potentially could be a nice alternative to the Washington Avenue strip, or, dare I say it, an alternative to Coconut Grove and CocoWalk (of course in a better, non-douchy kind of way). The place will open around Winter 2009, which I'm guessing is the beginning on 2009 not the end.

And do I think the concept will be a success? Ask the people over at Domo Japones, whose Thursday nights are the talk of the town. I do have one question, will Sugarcane be open during the day/evening serving food?

God, if you miss the Wynwood Art Walk this Saturday, you should seriously just shoot yourself because you are such a fucking loser. This Saturday is shaping up to be one of the craziest Second Saturdays since, well, Basel. Add to the list of must-do the Museum Quality exhibition at Bas Fisher Invitational. It's an exhibition of the works of Alvaro Ilizarbe, who is best known as the guy behind Freegums, which if you've ever been to any of Miami's "hipster" parties, you always see a sea of Freegums T-shirts everywhere you turn (you know you are!). I ain't hatin' though, the designs are sweet.

Anyway, this is gonna be one heck of an art/dance party because Chicago Ghettotech DJ Funk will be on hand to provide the sounds while Bronques of LastNightsParty.com will be on hand to snap pictures of all you fuckin' whores out there. Which, let me interject here: I know there are a number of you who go anywhere Bronques goes 'cause you think you aren't shit unless he takes a picture of you. Get over it, you're yesterday's news five hours after he posted up his gallery. Really people!

Back to talking about the event. It should be a blast and the after party it at ze Poplife (I like saying that in a French accent for some odd reason). And yes, camera whores, Bronques will be there as well. I leave you with a viral commercial (?) for Ilizarbe's Freegum brand done by and starring Bronques, of course.

If your hankering for some damn good house music then you better be at The Vagabond tonight. Little Louie Vega will be bringing us the housy goodness and if you've ever caught the house music master during WMC you know he is gonna bring what we sorely need here in Miami....good house music DJ'ing.

We are receiving initial reports that Studio A has closed for good. This has been confirmed by staff. More details as they emerge. Watch this space!

UPDATE: The Miami New Times reports that Studio A will stay open at least through all of its already scheduled shows that run until the end of June (yes, this includes Ladytron). After that the future is a little more hazy, but I'm sure if the venue's luck changes the owners might consider keeping the place open. So if you want to see Studio A stay in it for the long haul you know what you need to do: actually stop by there, support shows and spend some money. Also a new stable weekly night probably wouldn't hurt Studio A's chances of staying open.

Straight from the Community Blogs, our new favorite sceneboi (why the hell aren't the rest of you doing this?) Ferosh Vernacular recounts his night with friends at the "Quinceanera" party held at Vagabond last night. Poofy shoulders, booty music and pizza delivery and all:

Last night this we headed over to The Vag(abond) for the "Quinceanera" party. While I normally make it a point not to frequent teen nights (18 and over), the music draw had me at hello. So the 3 of us (Gui, Mo, and I) met w/ Thomas (yes- T now I know that "call me when you're close means prior to exiting the highway) and ventured back in time to the time of puffy white dresses, tiaras, and "pop that coochie".

Click here to read the entire, hilarious post

From all accounts, that was a pretty weird party. Very.. authentic. If you don't believe us, check out Chipi's photos on Cooljunkie.

And if you feel the need to express your Miami Nightlife woes, pros, rants, overtly insulting opinion of clubbers you too can blog by signing up using the account control in the top right corner.

Okay, I'm going to come out and admit it: I once, at the age of 13, danced in a Quinces. It gets worse: I was the main guy dancing with the quinceanera. It was horrible, I did it against my own wishes, but my mother forced me saying when I was older I'd look back at it and remember what a great experience it was. I'm looking back at it now; it fucking sucked.

Well Que Pasa MIA and The Vagabond are looking to bring back the nightmare of a Quinces party tomorrow with La Quinceanera. Yes, a Quinces party with promises of suprises, lechon and girls named Marileidys. Jose El Rey, DS363, Induce, Alex Caso, Madame Turk, Jon Vincent and Otto Von Santo (which I'm guessing is actually Schirach) will all be on hand. They also promise a secret, super famous DJ.

Oh and no, I shall not provide you with any pictures of me at the Quinces. It's better off forgotten. 

Ugh, sorry for not posting anything lately, but I sort of started a part-time gig with the Miami New Times, and I can't blog when I'm at the office because a) they don't pay me to blog for other people, and b) because I'm pretty sure they are monitoring what everyone is looking at. So until I get into the groove of things over there, posts might be a little sparse on my end.

Anyway, everyone needs to go to Jazid tonight because slut-of-the-site Jessica Who? is getting her very own night at DAMNSON, which happens every Tuesday at Jazid. In honor of the Who? they are renaming the night tonight to !DAMN GURL! I don't I need to say much else, since there is a video to be watch. Click play!

As you may have heard, Suite is closed for remodeling. It will reopen at some point in the distant future, but in the meanwhile our friends at Smac have moved their Basic Thursdays party to Dek23. Tonight's opening party features the practiced, careful madness of DJ Ross One along with their talented resident DJ What.

Everyone goes to Dek23 now. I used to laugh at them, send cruel texts, but I guess I'm not allowed now that reality has caught up with my fragmented, judgmental and neurotic world view. People tell me you don't have to worry about that part of the beach anymore, but they also tell me you're more likely to get killed in a car accident than eaten by an alligator, and yet I still don't dip my balls in the Everglades if I can avoid it.

Since we are MiamiNights and have to buy the love we receive, rather than earning it, we are also doing a giveaway. We're giving away a free bottle for one lucky person and his or her closest friends if you can answer a simple question: what nightclub is the setting for this InTheVIP porn movie? Answer quickly because we have to award the bottle around 8pm today.

Can I just start out by saying how I'm loving this new trend of "video flyers". First DAMNSON, now the Zombie Party at PS14. What's a zombie party you say? It's a party that you go to dress as, er, well a zombie. It's part early Halloween party, part potential murder scenario. If you attend you'll get to see all of Miami's favorite underground (and I mean like 20 feet underground) artists and DJs like Otto Von Shirach, Notorious Nastie, Johnny Sex Fuck & The Flesh Rockets, Thug Jesus and more! It all concludes with an Overtown zombie walk, which if you heard about the one that happened in Lincoln Road not too long ago you know its should be fun. Now I leave you think the amazingly grotesque and quasi NSFW video for the party. If you are wrapping up breakfast I suggest skipping it for now.

Hell ya! Carmel Ophir's infamous Monday-night party Back Door Bamby returns this week for one night only on Saturday at where else but The Vagabond. If you've never heard or gone to Back Door Bamby, listen to me and listen to me carefully: YOU MUST GO! This party is legendary because shit gets crazy. I never had the opportunity to go to it back in the day and have been begging Carmel to bring the party back so I can experience what all the fuss is about. Well Saturday I'll finally get my chance.

There will be plenty of DJs for your listening pleasure including DJ Shannon and hot-slut-of-the-site Jessica Who? in the main room, while DJs Gregg Foremann and  Ryan Evans along with Carmel himself will be spinning the in Bar Room. You can also expect appearances by Circ X, The Sex Kittens, Adora, Jose "Negro" Ramirez and Lovely Lola.

So if you don't know already the former Boom Boom Room space was taken over by Alfred Spellman of Rakontur and Keith Paciello and transformed into a new lounge called Bella Rose. In Lesley Abravanel's Velvet Underground column, Spellman says the place aims to bring back the South Beach of yore:

"We were getting really tired of the same stale bottle service nightlife options, so we wanted to do a small room, kind of a throwback to The Spot or Lua."

I have yet to check out the space, but anything is an improvement over the Boom Boom Room, which need I remind everyone a few weeks before its demise it experienced a drive-by shooting. I'll get everyone the full report on the place as soon as I can get my ass over the causeway.

There are also other new places you need to watch out for. Tony Guerra's Aero Bar should be opening soon in the area near the Ganesvoort Hotel and Collins Park. And the airport-themed lounges doesn't stop there as Heathrow Lounge opens up in the ill-fated area of Washington Avenue between 8th and 5th streets (actually, reps for the place have contacted me saying while the place is English inspired, it definitely isn't inspired by the English airport). However, Dek23, which is located in the same area, has been able to pull a steady stream of quality clientèle in an area better known for seedy clubs with even seedier people, so why can't Heathrow do the same?

Call it the worst kept secret, but the Chicago DJ duo Flosstradamus will be at Money Shot tonight. These guys are amazing and always blow the roof off any place they play. Last time I saw them was at the Revolver anniversary party at the Boutique Room in Pawn Shop Lounge and they had everyone dancing their pants off. I'm guessing the duo is in town thanks to the Chromeo show tonight at the Fifth; they've been touring together since last year.

So if you have any plans tonight, scratch them and hit up The Vagabond. Tonight also marks the return of DJ Contra to the Money Shot lineup and everyone knows Contra is a crowd-pleaser, so you've got two great reasons to go.

Update: Apparently this is the official Chromeo afterparty, not the one at Love/Hate.

I wasn't sure we could top or even match our massive WMC contest giveaway but I think as a follow-up to that insanity this would come pretty close. We are giving away a free bottle to the official EXXXOTICA after party being held at Glass inside The Forge Saturday April 19th. Pulling hosting duties for this porntastic party will be Jesse Jane, Gina Lynn and a few surprise others (which is code for MORE porn stars).

In addition to the porn stars and booze Glass will be simulcasting the UFC fight starting at 10pm for those that might be interested as well (though honestly why would people be watching sweaty men kick each others asses while missing the porn star asses?). So let's recap shall we: A Free bottle at Glass for the Exxxotica After Party, Porn Stars Galore and some UFC simulcast fighting thing.

CLICK HERE TO WIN A FREE BOTTLE FOR THE EXXXOTICA AFTER PARTY @ GLASS

I have been hearing people call each other barterwhores all weekend. I think this is because there are really that many barterwhores out there. Congratulations, guys! So as these things always go, at this point I've decided we need to shorten the term to ease our text messaging frenzy. "bwhores" stand up and be counted.

In addition, I've noticed that everyone keeps being way too verbose with me. Often I'll be totally ripped and I'll get a text spanning three messages. I'm sorry guys, I just can't handle that level of verbosity. For that reason, I'm trying to popularize "too long; didn't read" - abbreviated, of course, as "tl;dr".

The boys over at Ratradio.net give us a detailed definition of what Barter-Whoring is in Miami.

Over the years I've observed this troubling epidemic-one that is as subtle and difficult to identify as it is repulsive when finally diagnosed. At surface level, it appears to be nothing more than admittedly shallow, but nevertheless innocent, socializing between men and women of a common age. But under closer scrutiny, what is revealed is a ring of prostitution the likes of which the Western Hemisphere has never seen.

Essentially, this is a pretty large majority of club chicks everywhere in Miami. But I ask, would the club be the same without said Barter-Whores? Is it bad that the pretty ladies use this technique to further their alcoholism and appeal to men? My answer: no not really. Read the post and leave your comments. It's an interesting read.

I know, last week we said Parkwest would re-open but after receiving a last minute call it turns out the "Grand Re-opening" would be postponed another week. This week though we have received confirmation from some Parkwest people and seen some flyers and posts on our events page that indeed this week it is happening. To help sweeten the deal there will be open bar from 10-12pm. There will also be a fashion show put on by Six Degrees Magazine. Spinning the house music goodness will be Shawn Rudnick and Patrick M. Click the flyer thumbnail for full size. Check the Community Blogs on the right for comp entrance opportunities. See you there!

What can I say about Danny Daze that hasn't been said before? The kid is A-MAZING. Usually when he is in town he DJs at places like Glass or Cameo, which I rather be mauled by a pitbull than have to deal with the bullshit at the door at those places. Daze always thrives better anyway when he is playing at a real party, so take his appearance at Money Shot tomorrow as your opportunity to catch him in all his glory. And face it, Downtown audiences are more open to listening to the new than South Beach crowds, so that should give Daze plenty of leeway to tear Vagabond a new one.

Don't forget people, the ultimate Miami party, Money Shot returns tonight to The Vagabond! Free before midnight, $10 after. We'll be there with camera in hand.