As a neighbor to one of the shittiest cities in Miami I know quite a bit about Hialeah. Known to it's residents as "La Cuidad que Progressa" or for you gringos "The City of Progress", this industrial/residential/shithole apartment city has been a part of my life in some way or another since I was born. And since I have all this real life experience of Hialeah I like to consider myself a laureate of sorts on the subject.
Recently Forbes magazine published an article about the most boring big cities in America. Here is how they quantified their results:
To get a measure of which got the least media attention over the last year, we looked at 2008 news coverage of the country's 100 largest cities in national media outlets--newspapers the Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today and The Wall Street Journal; national newsweeklies Time and Newsweek; and national business magazines Forbes, Fortune and BusinessWeek. Since larger cities are expected to (and indeed do) receive significantly more press attention than smaller ones, we measured coverage on a per-capita basis to even the playing field.
So granted this "study" doesn't take in to account hooker per citizen ratios or shitty strip club per unhappy husband ratios etc, but the more press your city gets nationally the better it looks right? Even bad press, cause as the saying goes "Any press is good press". Based on their methods Hialeah ranks as a fucking boring city. I can attest to that being a laureate on the matter. I honestly never had fun in that city. I have dated girls in Hialeah (baaaaaaack in the days so no jokes bitches), have many friends there who agree Hialeah sucks and since I graduated from University have made it a point to never ever return to Hialeah.
If you think Hialeah is fun then by all means speak up in the comments. But if you actually live there then your biased and subjective opinions won't mean shit to me. There is one thing I will give Hialeah, the fact that it has so many sport facilities for soccer, tennis, basketball etc. Other than that everything about the city sucks ass. Westland Mall anyone? Let's not even dwell into the broski-tribal-tattoo-nooquebarato aspect of the city.
Long gone are the days of the Miami Fusion, or better put the Ft. Lauderdale Fusion, scraping the bottom of the bucket for fans and profits. In 2001 the Miami Fusion (RIP) folded and since, this soccer crazed city has had nothing (sorry Miami FC). But now it seems the worlds most popular sport may make it's triumphant return to Miami in 2011 with an MLS expansion team. With the backing of famed FC Barcelona and cellphone mogul Marcelo Claure the prospects look pretty good. The demographics and business opportunity are pretty clear for the MLS. A city with a very large Latin American constituent, playing in the newly minted FIU stadium and bringing the hype that only the Catalans can, I doubt the MLS would pass up this opportunity. I'm very excited as I'm sure other soccer starved fans are. Another thing to consider, if Barca does get its wish to start a team in Miami the chances of the actual Primera Liga team coming through Miami for exhibition matches is very real. Can you imagine getting the chance to see Samuel Eto'o, Lionel Messi, Thierry Henry and Xavi play the beautiful game here in our backyard? I'm giddy with excitement.
Friday Nights Yelle event at the Polish American Club (PAC) was a success by any standards. A packed house, overly excited crowd and booze tend to have that affect. This was my first visit to the PAC which, as a venue, didn't impress me much at all. It's like a dilapidated Hialeah banquet hall (lol "Where magic Freezes in Time") but with white people dancing to French Electro pop rather than butchered quinceanera father/daughter dances. But honestly who cares about the venue when the energy in the room is palpable, the music is fantastic and even the lights and sound are pretty damn good. You can get a more vivid and feminine review of the event from Duran over at Crossfade. Picture gallery available at thepopnessparty.
LoyalReader yellowpez posted a video of the event in the comments for song Les Femmes. Enjoy:
I'm not certain if we spoke about this show but in the case we didn't here is your reminder. Yelle, "The French Sensation", will be performing live this Friday at the Polish American Club. Brought to you by non other than the Poplife crew. On the heels of her first US tour Yelle will be giving South Florida a little of that French Electro pop goodness this Friday. I'm pretty excited, I don't speak a lick of French or know their customs very well but the French women turn me into putty (especially the ones who dress in crazy bright colored outfits). I can't explain it, it just happens. So expect me in the front row, a boneless mass of skin and guts being trampled on with no remorse by all the indie kids who will be in attendance.
Oh also, if you don't have your neon/lycra/plastic outfit from the cleaners back then you can do what Duran is doing and make yourself a silly dog mask. Even if you don't know French or who Yelle is watch the videos below and enjoy the unique style and music and think about checking it out, I highly recommend it. Advanced tickets are $15 and can be purchased at epoplife.com. The Polish American club is located at 1250 NW 22nd Ave Miami, FL 33125. The show starts at 8pm with guests Funeral Party and KAP10KURT. See you there.
Norman Braman's lawsuit filed against the Miami Megaplan has been hotly contested over the past few weeks, with journalists and bloggers aiming to uncover his 'true' intentions. The auto sales kingpin has been accused of desperately trying to push the suit as a publicity stunt to promote sales, seeing as how an automobile dealership bearing his last name makes for spoon-fed free association amongst the general populace. This would be a more logical move if Braman was younger and maybe new to the city, but both he and his business are Miami staples. Furthermore, his bank account is slated to live far beyond his years (and probably mine), so it's not cash he is hounding after. This latter statement and the fact that all but one of his dealerships (2020 Biscayne Blvd.) are far from the urban centers of the city would eliminate the claim that he is opposed to, say, the Midtown car for fear of huge monetary losses. Logically speaking, how much business could he possibly lose from having Midtowners opt for public transportation?
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Here we go again. Another vote on whether to give our worthy unworthy commission a pay raise. Currently the commission members make a measly $6,000 a year and are asking Miami Dade voters to up their pay to $90k. This would seem like a very reasonable proposition considering commissioners put in endless hours for the good of Miami. It would be reasonable if they were actually doing good for our county. But their record says otherwise. New Miami Herald columnist Myrian Marguez lists a host of failings the commission has partook in in her latest column "This group isn't worth 90,000".
While I agree 100% on her column I also believe commissioners should get compensated for the time they put into their work, be it good or bad. At $6k a year it's hard to imagine anyone would do good work. Would you work a thankless job for that salary? I sure as hell wouldn't. So to me there are 2 important questions to ask, 1. Is this current crop of commissioners worth $90k a year? and 2. Will $90k a year end the corruption and tempt better candidates in future elections? Regarding question 1 I think the current commission isn't worth the toilet paper I flush down the toilet. Will a higher salary attract more candidates which could potentially be more qualified and less biased, hell yes.
The current problem is that the sitting commissioners have to look for income in other areas and special interest is all to well aware of this. Check out what Eye on Miami put together regarding each commissioners net worth:
County Commission Chair Bruno Barreiro's net worth 12/31/07 was $1,365,496.70 about $300,000 more than last year. Same date, Jose "Pepe" Diaz was worth $267,373. he shows $82,666 income from the Asti Group in Coral Gables. 12/31/2004 Pepe was worth $225,833. Audrey Edmonson was worth $249,000, in 2006 she claimed her worth was $212,700. She gets $50,150 from the School Board. Doing what?
That's just a short snippet from the post, I suggest you read the entire thing. Currently the commissioners are working "consultant" jobs that has serious implications towards their required impartiality when making major decisions. If we pay them more will they feel obligated to drop their cash cow "side" jobs? Probably not this sitting commission but maybe new candidate will feel the call to public service more strongly with a $90k sticker on it.
[Herald Article:This group isn't worth 90,000 bucks]
As if Miami Spice wasn't a great enough concept the good folks over at the Greater Miami Convention and Visitors Bureau are giving you and yours the chance to experience some of Miami's top spas at affordable prices. Much like Miami Spice, Miami Spa Month offers a range of spa treatments at the affordable cost of $99. I personally would never leave my girl Chin Wah over on NW 36st but for those of you who prefer the glitz and glamor and high end pampering as opposed to the smoke filled Chinese adorned massage shack this is your chance to feel like a celeb. Each individual spa offers different treatment so make sure you check out the offerings before making a decision. I just recently bought my consort a Multigrain Herbal Body Treatment. Now to me I'd rather have that in a bowl of cereal but to her it sounded good. Click below the fold for all the participants and go to the Miami Spa Month webby for more details.
After the lengthy discussion on Duran's post, I got to wondering about all the places that have come and gone over the year of Miami clubland. Have the hot spots always been on South Beach? What about back in the day when places like Rick's Bar, Casanova's (which were in Hialeah and drew acts like Grace Jones and Madonna herself), and Fire and Ice held court. My inquiry took me to this great website discomusic.com. The site invites you to:
Instantly relive those adrenaline-pumped hedonistic moments on the Disco dance floor, hearing a flawless killer DJ mix set or being hypnotized by the spinning Disco ball as you learn the newest hustle dance steps.
Okay, so yeah I'm a TOTAL sucker for disco music, but the really great part is the Discos / Night Clubs page which takes you to a list of all the old disco dancing venues in the U.S. If you want an idea of what nightlife looked like in the 70s and 80s, be sure to click on the specific club links and read the reader comments. In some instances you even get pictures of the venue and of people.
It is interesting to note that mostly every party that was worth going to prior to 1992 was NOT on South Beach.
Like C&C M.F. said "Things that make you go hmmm".
That's what The Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau is hoping for. Unveiling a new tourism campaign with the catchphrase, "Miami: Express Yourself", the new direction hopes to place emphasis on Miami's burgeoning cultural and art explosion. Shying away from years past where the GMCVB slammed sex and models down your throat the new campaign hopes to bring a more culturally aware and affluent visitor to Miami. I personally like the push towards Downtown Miami, the Arts scene and everything that is happening to the Downtown area. However with more affluent and richer visitors how will that affect us? The local Downtown Miami Rat (DwntwnRat?) who chooses to stay on the mainland in part because of the expensive prices on the beach?
Needless to say I think the new campaign is classy yet urban with examples of graffiti art and even resident Sweat Records owner Lolo (pictured). Also if you haven't noticed, we rarely mention anything South Beach related on this blog...Why you ask? Because DwnTwn Miami and the urban core surrounding it are the new place to be. Give me bums and crappy street lighting over tourists on the beach any day.
Click here for Herald Article on new Campaign
Click here for the half built site on the campaign
Leave it to the Museum of Contemporary Art in North Miami to take advantage of influx of international DJs and promoters into the city next week. MOCA has tapped the Misshapes to appear at a little shindig on Tuesday from 7 to 9 p.m. The festivities celebrate the opening exhibition of Pivot Point Part 1, a defining of the museum's collection. The event also marks the premiere of the highly prized gift to the collection No Ghost Just a Shell, a collaborative multi-media project originated by Pierre Huyghe and Phillipe Parreno is comprised of 17 works by international artists, all based on a Japanese Manga character named Annlee. The work was jointly donated to the MOCA and the Tate, London.
If you plan to attend, you will be asked for $10 donation if you are a non-member, but cocktails will be provided by 10 Cane so that's nothing to complain about. The Misshapes will be on hand to provide the music.
Does this mean guns are the new pepper spray? According the Miami Herald, Coral Gables police killed a man in his 20s with a taser outside of condominium complex because he was being "belligerent." Shit, if I got tased every time I was belligerent, I'd be screaming "Don't tase me, bro!" at least five times a week. Well, the man became unresponsive after the tasing and was pronounced dead upon arriving at Doctor's Hospital in the Gables.
You know who the real victim is here? The stun gun, as it continues to get a bad rep. My roommate is college had a stun gun, which she showed to me. It was fucking scary I tell you that. You see the electrical current and it lets off a rather loud snap, crackle and pop -- yes, like Rice Krispies, but not as enjoyable I presume.
Soon frat boys and Kendallites will have a chic place to call their own. Nikki Beach is expanding its Miami presence with Nikki City Coconut Grove on McFarlane Road adjacent to the Sonesta Coconut Grove. The international club conglomerate already has other locations outside of South Beach, including New York, St. Barths, St. Tropez, Cabo San Lucas, Marrakesh, Hollywood, Fla., and more. Now I kid when I say this place will be invaded by barely legal party-goers. I've been told Cielo Supper Club at the Streets of Mayfair is doing extremely well attracting an upscale clientel (I haven't seen it with my own eyes, though), so there might be room for Nikki Beach to get in the game.
Actually Nikki City will offer three experiences: Cafe Nikki will be an outdoor cafe serving breakfast and lunch along with specialty coffee, Nikki Coconut Grove will be the restaurant serving both lunch and dinner, while Nikki City will be the lounge offering happy hour specials and operating until 2 a.m. Thursday to Saturday.
Obviously, it seems this is going to be much different from Nikki Beach on South Beach, catering to a young professional crowd looking for something a little more high-end on the mainland. According to Coconut Grove Grapevine, Nikki City is poised to open this Saturday, but they've already pushed back the opening several times, so call ahead.
And yes, this will be the first and last time I ever write about anything happening in Coconut Grove.
I'm really not the fashionista as many of you know. I like to sport my dirty chucks, snug jeans and tshirt all to much and couldn't care less about accessories. Don't get me wrong, have I ever though about buying a snazzy vest, a slick fedora or my new favorite accy the turban? Of course, especially the turban cause nothings more chic right now than the terrorist look. But I digress, Thursday GenArt brings us another edition of Shop Miami featuring way to many designers and boutiques to list here.
If you are the proverbial Miami fashionista though this is a great way to get your hands on those fresh Fall fashion styles that don't come off the assembly lines. An open bar, complimentary beauty services, a special fashion presentation and more will be provided in addition to your mounting credit card debt. More info here and click here for flier.
Thursday, October 25th
6:00 - 7:00pm: VIP Only Private Pre-sale
7:00 - 11:00pm: Main Event
The Historic Alfred I. Dupont Building
169 East Flagler Street
Miami, FL
So you always wanted to sit down at that swanky restaurant on SoBe but realized you couldn't even afford an entree. Your girlfriend always bitches about how you only take her to the Taco Bell drive through on Biscayne at 3am. I know, it's tough looking in on all those pretty people dinning on their delicious mouth size fillet mignon while they mock you as you stare with those puppy eyes of poverty and malcontent. Well for my fellow miscreants and minimum wage makers the good people of the Greater Miami Visitors and Convention Bureau have felt our pain and bring us the sixth annual Miami Spice restaurant promotion deal which runs from August 1 through September.
For one month only you will be able to take that lovely girl (or man) of yours out for an evening of fine dining, wine sipping and thank you sex (the best kind after make up sex) for only $22 for lunch and $35 for dinner menus. Mind you this only includes your meal and not any add ons like coffee, wine,tip and tax. With more than eighty participants this year you have a myriad choice of the better establishments you could only hope to afford on a regular basis. Here are a few restaurants I got marked on my planner: Azul, Food Gang, Blue Door, Social Miami and Karu to name a few. You can find more info on Miami Spice here.
I have been a Flamingo Plaza shopper since my parents introduced it to me in my younger years with used clothing galore. Granted my wardrobe at that young age got me made fun of endlessly but I have to thank my parents for teaching me how to appreciate thrift stores at an early age. It's no secret you can find hidden gems within the confines of Miami's thrifting establishments but lately I have found some of my favorite spots are getting a little pricey. Granted people are gonna call me a cheapo but when you see prices for long sleeve shirt at famed stores like Red White and Blue go from$2.95 to a staggering $7.95 you begin to wonder if there are any stores out there that still stick to the "thrift" motto: "Sell it cheap cause nobody wants a shirt a dead person once wore". It's simple economics really, the demand for cheap trendy clothes is skyrocketing as people want to put together their own style without having to pay ridiculous designer name prices. And that's why I've noticed over the years that my most hallowed thrift stores have become overrun by 20 something year old "hipsters" and the prices have inevitably gone up. And not only the prices but the occurrences of finding those treasures has gone down as well.
So to my surprise while perusing Miami's favorite joke of a newspaper I ran into this article that told of a giant Goodwill Outlet where one could buy in bulk. I had heard stories about places like this but for some reason never made it a point to investigate further than my usual thrifting hangouts. The Goodwill outlet is a 6k sq. ft warehouse with anything you can imagine. With clothes piled up in stacks on tables there are two basic strategies: 1. Is to fill your cart up with a sweeping arm motion and move on to the next stack, and 2. is to dig like a MeerKat searching for the buried treasure. This isn't your traditional pick and choose, go through every hanger and try to catch the glimpse of that rare brand or style type thrifting, this is buy clothes by the pound thrifting. At only $1.75 per pound of clothing you really don't have to worry about getting crappy clothes. What are the odds of getting something good? Well the workers at Goodwill will restock the tables every half hour on busy days, which means the chances of hitting gold are pretty high. I'm gonna make it a point to check it out soon. You can find the Goodwill Terminus at 2125 NW 21st open 8am - 1pm.
p.s. I wonder if people will be pissed I posted this? I know some of my friends keep their favorite thrift stores a greater secret than their gonorrhea problem.
Hot damn, I can't wait until Miami Spice, which starts August 1, which is 18 days from now. For those unaware of what Miami Spice runs from the beginning of August until the end of September. During this time you can score a five-star meal at the unbelievable low price of $22 for lunch, $35 for dinner (plus tax and tip). I've only done dinner, but the $35 includes appetizer, entree and dessert. Of course, you are choosing from a set menu, but you can look before you buy at the Miami Spice website, to see if the menu appeals to you. And no, you aren't going to get Chili's-size portions here, but its filling (enough) once you've gone through all the courses.
Some of the places I definitely want to check out include Cacao, Karu & Y, Ortanique on the Mile, Table 8 and Social Miami, and probably return to some of favorites like North One 10, SushiSamba droMo, O Asian Grill and Talula.
Dammit, my diet is going to go to shit. I might as well stop eating now.
Stuck on the Palmetto found a gem of an article that the Washington Post published a few days ago. Writer Necee Regis travels away from the glitz and glamour, which often misleads outsiders to think that's all Miami has to offer, and shows readers the city is more than just man-made beaches, art deco buildings and surgically altered beauties. Regis takes us on a tour of Wynwood, Biscayne Corridor, Little Haiti/Design District and Brickell, showcasing a wide variety of things to do and places to eat that SOTP's Rick wisely points out, most of us probably didn't know existed.
I can say this article has got me all excited, there a few places mention that I've been always meaning to check out but have always put them off for one reason or another. And congrats to Circa 28 who got a shout out on a national and widely circulated newspaper.
So I'm there at my secret getaway spot Lion Video in the Gables, Minding my own business and I catch this promo for Afrobeta performing every Tuesday in July. Seems normal enough, until I notice the venue, get this, Mama Lila's Bistro on Ponce! Finally! No way! A night to satisfy my thirst for electro ghetto funk and steak skewers! Don't believe me? Here's the flyer:
Oh Miami how you never cease to amaze me.
Coral Gables continues to impress me. No other city in Miami-Dade County does city planning as well as Coral Gables does. No one. It has embraced its suburban status, but it refuses to be a typical Miami suburb. I mean have you been the Miracle Mile/Financial District area lately. Wide expansive sidewalks, hundreds of dining options and numerous bars. This all in an area that a 5-year-old could walk alone and not fear getting kidnapped. My only quip with the area is that after midnight, it's basically a ghost town, so hopefully the city can figure out (if they wish) how to keep people there for the entire night and not lose them to Downtown, South Beach or (I think I'm going to vomit) the Grove. Then again, I don't think Coral Gables is looking to get in the nightclub game.
Anyway, its quest to be the new cultural hub of Miami, the city commission of Coral Gables, according to the Miami SunPost, approved the use of the retail space in the Coral Gables Museum parking garage at 260 Aragon Ave. for use as an art cinema by Coral Gables Cinematheque Inc. Also according the SunPost:
The venue is expected to screen both independent and Hollywood films daily, while also serving as a theater for a monthly Student Filmmakers Exhibition, which "allows emerging filmmakers to showcase their productions in a professional cinema environment at minimal expense." Plans are for special children’s screenings to be scheduled to coincide with the school calendar.
The cinema has been approved, but it still needs to figure out how to raise the $400,000 needed for the remodeling of the space. The city already earmarked $250,000 for the project and some rich couple's estate donated $100,000, so all that is needed is $50,000, but with the moneybags that live within the city, I don't think that's going to be much of a problem.