It's raining all over the fuckin place but that's not going to keep you inside, no, not you, because when you stay home you risk missing an extremely incredible, unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime experience, and those only seem to happen on those odd days when you stay home. Right?
Tonight tech house crazy Radio Slave is emerging from his Berlin brutalist beat bunker to dazzle us at Grass. He'll be twisting and turning obscure nobs on the Dynacord sound system and making us, and a bunch of other like-minded people, dance our asses off. Or at least nod our heads. The party is presented by SAFE and most importantly, the entire outside area of Grass is under a waterproof tent, so your hair won't get messed up.
The club scene during the summer in Miami is supposed to suck but so far I've only wanted to kill myself a few times. Per day.
Brilliant techno duder Davide Squillace is leaving his womb-like cavern of techno in Ibiza for a very special performance tonight at Electric Pickle. Cover is only $5. Here's a video of him unleashing his vengeance:
Next up, near-forgotten beach venue Rokbar has an unusually tasteful party with the Bella Rose Reunion. It's former owner Keith Paciello's birthday and the old lurkers will be reunited for one last time.
If you've ever wondered how 4/20 came to be, I'm about to ruin this day for you forever.
There was no legendary stoner uprising against the square overseers on April 20th. No war for the ancient Greek crop of OG Kush at the base of the Temple of Hephaistos. Bob Marley didn't die today.
Celebrate your disappointment in style tonight at Bar, formerly PS14. Damaged Goods and Troy Kurtz will be DJing. Bar features $5 drinks and a completely laid back attitude. Click here for flyer.
Greetings and salutations Miami. It's Friday and if you're anything like me you are no doubt already lining up your plans for tonight. I'm sure by now most of you are fully recovered from the mayhem of two weeks ago. As such, please accept this as your cordial invitation to come an shake-a-lil' sumtin' with my friends and I at Vagabond tonight as we celebrate my birthday.
Vagabond in conjunction with Sweat Records are doing what they do best w/ Friday's at the Vagabond presenting Team Rojas DJ Set and OF MONTREAL after party. If you are living under rock and have yet to get to this party, WTF are you waiting for. The music is always killer and the people are great. I am especially looking forward to cutting it up with my girl Angi (MUAH!)
Resident DJs Ray Milian, Mike Deuce, LOLO, Ryan Evans, UVS, Chris Graham, and Gregg Foreman. Doors open at 10 w/ no cover before 11PM. $2 PBR and $5 Russian Standard Vodka before midnight will keep your whistle wet. The night is full of possibilities so throw on your most ironically effortless looking ensemble and come hang out w/ us! The Vagabond is located at 30 NE 14 Street.
Ecco is a spot that opened about six months ago to less fanfare than it deserved. Though it features an above-average pizza place and Italian restaurant downstairs and a cute, large lounge upstairs, there have been numerous parties here but none ever really stuck. This is a shame.
Tonight Bare Bones will try to change that. A new party put together by Norman V and Eddy Darko (the guys from Bandits), they've booked Jessica Who and Laura from WVUM to provide le music. Ladies drink free from 11-12 and there will be bottle specials. I really hope this takes off and invigorates this under appreciated spot.
Ecco Lounge is located at 168 SE 1st Street in downtown Miami.
We're very excited to bring you this one-off special event to remember the incredible times we had at Pawn Shop. I still can't believe all these details came together at the last minute to make this happen.
Get there early, before midnight - space will be limited.
WMC rolls into Friday with more amazing acts. Are you dead yet? I hope not. I sort of am.
Dirtybird and Motership @ The Doubletree Grand: Delightful talent on the water including Claude Vonstroke, Justin Martin, Jesse Rose, Christian Martin and Worthy. Noon to midnight. More information and tickets.
Spectral Sound @ Glass: Audion, Kate Simko, Seth Troxler, Lee Curtiss, Konrad Black. More info and tickets.
Erol Alkan @ Vagabond: Whoa. Amazingly talented and eccentric DJ/producer Erol Alkan with friends Dave P, JDH, and Riton, to say nothing of Late of the Pier. And Rye Rye for some reason. More information and tickets.
Crosstown Rebels @ Electric Pickle: Afterhours at Electric Pickle! Demigods Damian Lazarus, Jamie Jones, Clive Henry. More info and tickets.
If you see me out, poke me with a stick to ensure that I am alive and not just a warm corpse. Thank you.
Flying Circus @ Nikki Beach: 11am on the sand. Steve Lawler, Audiofly, Tiefschwarz, Nic Fanculli, Paco Osuna, Heidi and Davide Squillace! Dats a lot of big names brobro. $25.
Spiderpussy WMC @ Chicago: brand new venue at 637 Washington Ave! Franki Chan, Toxic Avenger, Hot Pink Delorean. It's free, and open bar from 10-11. I close my eyes and picture an insane hot mess. More info here.
Winter Music Conference is entering full swing! Secure your paraphernalia and slightly adjust your morality. We recommend you revisit our top ten WMC essentials list if you haven't already.
Here are some quicky suggestions for tonight's madnesses:
Major @ Electric Pickle, formerly Circa28. Try not to mind the name, I think it's a joke I don't understand. Anyway, Lazaro Casanova, Danny Daze, Blu Jemz, Lloyd, Stretch. $10 with RSVP.
Benny Benassi + Calvin Harris @ Mansion. What more needs to be said? $30.
Marco Carola + Paco Osuna @ Hedkandi, otherwise known as techno with a twist. $30.
And remember: your last chance to win tickets during our ticket give away is tonight! We are awarding the tickets at around 9pm. Click here to register!
Wednesdays have been sensational lately, with a whole crop of new parties and fun things to do.
Dirty Hairy returns to Liv, this time featuring electro superstars Fischerspooner. They're about as influential as you can get in terms of their impact on the music that we all know and love and they haven't sold out nearly as hard as many others which makes them A-OK in my emo book of sorrows. They are backed up by DJ Ross One, one of my favorite of the ueberlocals. This man can destroy things. Last week was complete chaos so for God's sake please RSVP to info@epoplife.com!
Art Riot, a one-off party at White Room, featuring the world's longest flyer and many prominent local DJs and artists including People From Venus, Tommy Ryk, friend of the site Kids with Grills, and many, many more.. $5 or 5 cans of food - not sure if cat food works at the door.
Off The Radar continues at The Standard, which is fast becoming the chill spot to have a drink after a long day of work (or not working, like 9% of us). Tonight: Gen Art puts together a special screening of "Sunshine Cleaning," followed up with free wine from 10-12 by Menage A Trois. Hard to explain about that! This event is free.
There's supposedly a recession or something out there -- I'm not sure, I started paying for the oil changes on my Rolls with steamy maintenance-closet BJs months ago -- so we're going to do our best to help you unemployed Miami drug children conserve what remains of your precious savings.
Step one of our recession plan to survive WMC: we are giving away five pairs of tickets to our Three Year Anniversary Brawl, featuring the sweet sex of Diplo, Kid Sister and Chromeo, plus about ten thousand other artists.
Interested? Click here to enter! We'll be picking the winners on Tuesday, March 24. But sign up now because I need to impress my superiors.
Update: And while we're on the recession tip, here are some recession cocktail recipes from the New Yorker. (Yeah, I usually don't read that shitty rag either, mostly because I failed the credit check, unless I'm trying to impress a girl, in which case I usually tell them to meet up with me at the library, where I am wearing a cardigan, plus you can totally surf for all sorts of illegal porn on their computers while you wait and then blame it on the 8 year old next to you when the party van comes.)
The Dirty Hairy party at Liv continues to be so over the top that I will no longer comment on the ridiculousness of its unfashionably-midweek bookings. Instead I'll just document it: tonight, Joaquin Phoenix performs his awkward unusual brand of rap at Liv. Backing him up are DJ Klever and Craze. This combination sounds.. hallucinogenic. Or perhaps unhygenic -- have you seen his beard? Anyway, if you wish to attend -- which you do -- remember to RSVP now to info@epoplife.com, and arrive early to avoid the chaos.
Tonight Dirty Hairy at Liv in the Fontainebleau continues with more incredible bookings: Chromeo and Diplo! Let me tell you: I was just listening to an old Diplo Essential Mix yesterday, and it was pretty blissful. Except the Bart Simpson moments. But I guess nobody's perfect (not even K-Fed).
Speaking of perfect, it's free if you RSVP to info@epoplife.com. Oh, and Chromeo are only doing a DJ set, not a live performance, which means less ear splitting Autotune. What could be better, other than a pony?
Imagine building a luxurious, stark 50 story hotel on a 4 acre plot on Brickell. Then imagine putting a pool and nightclub on the roof. Siiick! If you were giving an economy-inspired high altitude jump any thought, this will certainly push you over the edge (hurhurhurhurrrr). To make matters worse or better, the boys from Off the Radar will be taking care of your suicide soundtrack. I will be in attendance and reporting on the festivities. Starts early at 8pm.
From the "omg wtf" file comes this perfect party. The usual suspects -- Subversive, POPLIFE, Alexis Mincolla and Sam Baum -- are starting a new Wednesday night called Dirty Hairy at the glamorous and beautiful Liv. If you haven't been to Liv, prepare to be floored by the millions they sunk into the club build out.
They're starting it off on the right foot, too: tonight features a live performance by Kid Sister and a DJ set by the enviable Flosstradamus. If that wasn't enough, local celebrities Contra and Danny Daze will be taking care of the rest of the evening.
The best part? It's free, muddafucka! Simply RSVP to info@epoplife.com.
See you there -- and be listening for use of FlossyFX.
Probably almost the end of the world (if the media is to be believed)
Prepare for maximum tumescent genitalia.
Friday:
Morrissey listening thing @ Heir to the Throne: Heir to the Throne is a cute little party hosted at King is Dead, which is a cute little club attached to Grass. I haven't spent as much time here as I'd like. Free Grolsch (puke!) 11 to midnight. King is Dead is located at 28 NE 40th Street in the Design District.
Eden's Terrace @ Nocturnal: Nocturnal is relaunching their Friday night afterhours with a refreshed look and format. House music on Saturday mornings, minimal techno on Sunday mornings. I used to enjoy going to Nocturnal for afterhours, and I would like to enjoy it again. Hopefully they'll decide to reconnect the running water in the men's bathroom and scrape the drooling pilled out Kendall drug children out from under the furniture. Look for Benjamin Acero outside for free entry from 4-6am.
Saturday:
Alan T's big birthday with Danny Tenaglia @ Gryphon: What needs to be said? World renowned nightlife troublemaker and all around brilliant guy Alan T along with one of the oldest, most respected DJs in the game. Expect incredibly tasteful house-ish music all night long, including some cheese thrown in to wake you up. I hate Broward, but this is a good party.
Konrad Black @ Glass: SAFE presents Konrad Black, techno demigod from the UK. I admit that Glass is a random location, but I think this party is worth your time. More information here.
Well well well, it seems we are fucked after all. The unemployment rate has reached 7.6%. In other words, 8 out of every 100 people you know is out of work. Unfortunately for me, 90 out of every 100 people I know is out of work, because I hang out with these crusty hopeless indie retards who have nothing going for them. Until I find a way to ship them all off to an isolated island, perhaps with rumors of a Dov Charney sighting, my ratio is fucked.
If you're ready to econoparty this weekend on the cheap, I have some seductive choices for you. This is a really strong weekend to be in Miami.
Friday:
Sammy Dee at Glass: Ah, yes, I've always wanted to hear slamming minimal techno while surrounded by antique wood paneling, but I thought the only way to make that happen was a Bavarian orgy with the strict school headmaster and his perverse, delinquent son. I guess fantasies really do come true. This comically low quality YouTube clip will show you what Sammy Dee is about:
Sammy Dee is from Berlin and on the Poker Flat label. And tickets are $10. And I'll be there. What more can you ask for? Other than me not being there. Glass is located at 432 41st Street, Miami Beach.
Thug Sinatra at Provocateur: I've been meaning to write a post about Provocateur, but I haven't been there, and neither have most of the other people I've asked, but this is an interesting reason to go: the ever-surprising John Hood is doing something he calls "Thug Sinatra", in which he croons along with a piano player to some hip hop songs. Sounds weird right? I'm curious about it. Click here for more information. Provocateur is located down the block from Aerobar/Mokai, in the old Groovejet space.
Saturday:
Dubfire at Mansion: What more needs to be said? Dubfire is the darker, housier, technoey side of Deep Dish. When the boys decide to acknowledge that progressive house is absolutely the shittiest thing on earth, Dubfire comes out. Then amnesia sets in and things go back to normal. Should be an amazing show. Even more amazing? It's free if you go with Sean Ford. That's ridiculous. Mansion is located at.. you know where Mansion is.
Local Boy David Jon Acosta will be presenting Gold Saturn tonight at Cabana One atop the Mayfair Hotel. I have yet to check out the venue so this'll be a great opportunity to do so. Acosta has been making waves with his graphic knits for sometime now. With credits in Ocean Drive, and Paper Magazine (to name a few) this should be fun show. My personal favorite is "Prescription for Peace". I am excited to see any new additions. I'll be sure to keep you kids posted. R.S.V.P. on here (it gets's 20%). The event starts at 11:00 p.m. with the models stepping off @ midnight. Cabana One is located at the Mayfair Hotel, 3000 Florida Avenue, Coconut Grove, Florida 33133
Langerado, an upcoming festival that we have discussed in depth appears to be canceled. This is a tremendous disappointment. My brother from another mother, and father, has the scoop, summarized thusly:
Today, the 2009 Langerado Music Festival is cancelled due to sluggish ticket sales. The 7th annual event was slated to happen March 6-8 at their new home in downtown Miami's Bicentennial Park.
Welcome to Miami Nights. We've been antagonizing and overanalyzing
the Miami and South Beach club scene since WMC 2006. Once we sober up we
also cover the arts, dining, real estate and shopping.
