Miami Nights

FASHIONISTA ALERT!

Local Boy David Jon Acosta will be presenting Gold Saturn tonight at Cabana One atop the Mayfair Hotel.  I have yet to check out the venue so this'll be a great opportunity to do so.  Acosta has been making waves with his graphic knits for sometime now.  With credits in Ocean Drive, and Paper Magazine (to name a few) this should be fun show.  My personal favorite is "Prescription for Peace".  I am excited to see any new additions.  I'll be sure to keep you kids posted.  R.S.V.P. on here (it gets's 20%).  The event starts at 11:00 p.m. with the models stepping off @ midnight.  Cabana One is located at the Mayfair Hotel, 3000 Florida Avenue, Coconut Grove, Florida 33133

I was having a serious talk with one of my best friends last Friday night (Michelle, holla!) about what it truly is to be a real Miami girl. We live what Miller Beer likes to call "the High Life" and we do it at a Miller price -- cheap. Now don't get me wrong, my purse is a real Coach and my shoes are all Steve Madden, but after the new $200 dollar dress from BCBG and my mani-pedi in Pinecrest the pocket book is a bit empty. But what can I do about it? Not looking fabulous is not an option, so I've learned a few tricks of the Miami Trade that I'd like to share with you.

Miami Girls have it all, and at a price no one can turn down: FREE. If you know how to be social, make new friends every night! You'll be surprised where they lead you, and be a good friend, so when the time comes that your low on drink and low on funds that guy you joked with while waiting in line for the bathroom (and ladies, be aware that a Miami girl does not wait in line unless its for the bathroom, and don't try to skip cause thats how things end up in the ER) he'll offer you a drink, and you'll be happy with a new friend and drink, and he'll be happy thinking you might get drunk enough to make-out with him (lets try to control ourselves please, real Miami girls need to be picky not sloppy). 

Miami girls it's time to put on your heels and leave your Coach wallets at home, because I'm taking you out! (but don't forget your ID's)

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Coconut Grove residents got their way last night when Miami city commissioners approved the measure to close clubs and bars in Coconut Grove at 3 a.m. Despite what some people said at the meeting, there is really little proof that cutting the sale of alcohol by two hours does much to prevent drunk driving or disruption. In fact, it could be argued that what Grove patrons will do is leave the area around 2 a.m. wasted out of their minds and go either to Downtown or the Beach and that definitely isn't going to be any better. Alas, for conceited Grove residents all they care about is that their peaceful neighborhood isn't disturb.

Some people have commented saying that this could mean the end of the 24-hour liquor license in Downtown and the idea of closing at 3 a.m. may catch on. First of all, I doubt it. The Grove is home to a rare variety of stupidity, only matched by residents in Coral Gables and Fisher Island. Downtown areas are expected to be livelier and attract more people, and at this point in time Downtown isn't succeeding on that front. While I truly believe the 24-hour liquor license's days are numbered, I still think the 5 a.m. cut off is here to stay.

My worry is that Grove patrons are going to move in on Downtown, and Downtown clubs already have filled their douche quota. I shudder to think of being in the same room with a gaggle of Kendall girls with overly tight jeans that give them that muffin top look they love paired with their favorite top from Forever XXI.

I'm such a bitch.

According to Riptide, Nikki Coconut Grove finally will have its grand opening tonight. The will celebrate it with the club's signature White Party -- wait, White Party? Isn't that when millions of gay men dress in barely-there outfits and dance to Cher and Barbara Streisand at Vizcaya? Point is you gotta dress in all white, which seems to me like a cranberry & vodka spill waiting to happen. In attendance will be Alonzo Mourning and plenty of other people who think they are A-list but are probably on the Z-list (sorry, Duran is a little grumpy today). You can RSVP to coconutgrove@nikkibeach.com if you really want to go.

And I know, I said last time that would be my one and only post about Coconut Grove. What can I say? I'm a liar.

Christmas has come late for those with good taste in Miami. Miami city commissioners have voted to move last call from 5am to 3am for bars and clubs inside Coconut Grove. 4am in the Grove is basically all UM kids rolling around in their own puke in the gutter, so I doubt many spots in that area care enough about that time slot to dedicate the funds to battling this move. Still I can't see this being a boon for business at the newly opened (and unfortunately timed) Nikki Beach in Coconut Grove. On the flip, the dirty drunk children are hurting The Grove's reputation and ability to attract the kind of high class customers that used to frequent businesses there.

Does anyone still remember enough good things about the Grove to be bothered by this move? Send the clueless Grove kids downtown. Let them serve as human shields for the vicious bum hordes, driven to rage by blood lust and disenfranchisement. I say good riddance. And god speed. And good day.