MiamiNights - Miami Night Clubs, Nightlife

I was having a serious talk with one of my best friends last Friday night (Michelle, holla!) about what it truly is to be a real Miami girl. We live what Miller Beer likes to call "the High Life" and we do it at a Miller price -- cheap. Now don't get me wrong, my purse is a real Coach and my shoes are all Steve Madden, but after the new $200 dollar dress from BCBG and my mani-pedi in Pinecrest the pocket book is a bit empty. But what can I do about it? Not looking fabulous is not an option, so I've learned a few tricks of the Miami Trade that I'd like to share with you.

Miami Girls have it all, and at a price no one can turn down: FREE. If you know how to be social, make new friends every night! You'll be surprised where they lead you, and be a good friend, so when the time comes that your low on drink and low on funds that guy you joked with while waiting in line for the bathroom (and ladies, be aware that a Miami girl does not wait in line unless its for the bathroom, and don't try to skip cause thats how things end up in the ER) he'll offer you a drink, and you'll be happy with a new friend and drink, and he'll be happy thinking you might get drunk enough to make-out with him (lets try to control ourselves please, real Miami girls need to be picky not sloppy). 

Miami girls it's time to put on your heels and leave your Coach wallets at home, because I'm taking you out! (but don't forget your ID's)

Click here to read full article..

Leave it to the Miami Herald to run a piece that is so blatantly obvious that I didn't need Ms. Lydia Martin's painfully cliche-ridden story to tell me something I think everyone knows: Douchebags buy bottles in order to score pussy (now that is an award-winning headline). Oh and leave it to Tommy Pooch to take this piece to a whole other level of supreme douchiness when he gives Martin what perhaps is the most asshole-sounding quote ever given when talking of the ghosts of South Beach past:

"If we made you buy four bottles, and you're only four people, you can bet we didn't want you there," says longtime party promoter Tommy Pooch, who, with partner Alan Roth, is behind jam-packed Tuesday nights at the Delano and Sundays at the Shore Club. "You're probably ugly. We were hoping you would just leave. But you were so desperate to get in, you agreed to the four bottles, and now we're stuck with you."

You think the douche factor would stop there, but no -- it continues on. Some London transplant that goes by the name of Romy Grantley gives a quote talking about his spending habit at Set:

"I'll spend about $3,000 every Friday on three or four bottles," Grantley says. "I usually split the bill with a buddy. It's worth it. . . . There is no place that's better anywhere in the world. Not in Ibiza. Not anywhere. When I first started coming here, nobody knew who I was. Now, because I have my own table, I'm well known at the top club on the Beach."

Oh Lord! Someone should tell Grantley he is supporting somebody's expensive coke habit by shelling out that much money every week. And god, he sounds so proud of the fact that he is getting robbed blind by the Opium Group.

The winner here is obviously the clubs and promoters. Kudos to them for actually taking advantage of the simple minded. 

The city of Miami has quite a conundrum on their hands. When the announce end of last year the development plan for the city's urban core got some people pissed. Overtown residents are saying that money and tax incentives that are earmarked to be used to develop poorer neighborhoods like their own would be used to fun "frivolous" projects like the Performing Arts Center, the new Marlins stadium, the Miami streetcar and the tunnel to Port of Miami. Mind you, I sympathize with Overtown residents who fear city leaders are going to basically fuck them over once again or eventually be pushed out of the city by gentrification.

Then there is Norman Braman. You might know him better as the owner of Braman Honda in Kendall and Braman Motors in Midtown. Yes, this man has touting himself as a champion for the poor by exposing city leaders evil plan to screw over the city's poor by misusing money meant for them and trying to stop the city's plan to extend the borders of the Overtown/Park West Community Redevelopment Agency to include the Omni district and Watson Island in order to finance these expensive projects.

Well why would Braman care about what the hell the city does with money that doesn't really affect him? Wait, it does. Projects like the tunnel and the Midtown/Design District streetcar could cut into Braman's profits by -- gasp -- offering true auto-less urban living. In fact, the upper-middle class residents moving into the urban core are exactly the kind of customers Braman wants to sell cars to. They can actually afford their high-priced loft and a brand new luxury car.

Fact is the city needs to fund projects like the tunnel and streetcar because public transportation and roads have not kept up with the city's rapid growth. I mean what's the point of living in the urban core if you can't get anywhere? 

While I agree that the city needs to be careful and make sure the even Overtown residents see improvements in their area as well, the last person I'd trust is Braman. He has way too much at stake here. Obviously he has lawyers working already to put a stop to this silliness by the city. But what I think Braman needs to do is back off. He obviously thinks he has more to lose than Miami's poor.

This is the reason I'm excited my lease on my $2,000 per month townhouse in the Coconut Grove is up in February. I'll probably be paying less than $1,000 to live in Brickell, Downtown or Midtown. I love taking advantage of other people's misfortunes. Yea, I could probably move to the Beach for even less, but I hate Midwesterns so fucking much.

Oh, and before you think I'm rich beyond belief (I'm a writer, remember?) for affording a $2,000 rent, I have a roommate. 

Did everyone hear that loud thud back in October? That was the sound of Bang Music Festival's organizers falling flat on their faces after offering South Floridians the weakest festival lineup I've ever seen. Nope, not even the lure of Kanye West and the Smashing Pumpkins could get us off our asses to buy tickets. Rumor is that prior to canceling, the event barely had sold 20 tickets. Well, Bang's Web site has been updated to say "BANG! A Higher Musical Experience Coming In 2008."

I don't fault them for trying, Bang 2006 still goes down in my book as the best festival event ever held south of Lake Okeechobee, even if Daft Punk single-handedly made it unforgettable. But don't hold your breath Miami, rumors were swirling back in October that promoters felt Miami wasn't as profitable as they had hoped, instead deciding to take their bland pop/rock/hip-hop line-up north to where everything is commercialized and consumer-oriented. Yes, if rumors prove to be correct, Orlando could be the home of Bang in 2008. I'd personally like to see Bang organizers try the multi-stage, one-day format I personally fell in love with and book acts that are pushing musical boundaries. But if bland is what they want, by all means Orlando, keep it.

Ten Museum Park was for some time my favorite building in Miami. Over on MiamiUrbanLife's Ten Museum Park residents forum, nightmares are being told about the building's launch as residents begin to close on their units and move in.

Alex, Ten Musuem Park had its first closings in mid to late June. In the four and half months since approximately 20 or so units are occupied. I cannot speak of the valet parking because it has not be fully implemented. There is no gym or spa and the spaces for them are still in rough un-built out condition. The pool deck is already suffering from poor maintenance and the landscaping is dying or dead. The lobby is functional but has yet not been fully furnished or decorated. As for the other parts of the building, the restaurant and office spaces have yet to be improved. The building has a long way to go to be fully operational and in the mean time the residents must wait and wait. On the plus side, the exterior is very beautiful and the views are great. As with other residents, I am keeping my fingers crossed that the developer and builder can pull it all together by the holidays.

The Herald tells us not to buy drugs in Hialeah, or at least not cyanide capsules disguised as ecstasy, by way of this sobering story of a 15 year old girl who died after taking a single pill:

As the friends drove to Miami Beach, the girl swallowed a pill with orange juice.
 
Her friends later told police she ''started to complain within 15-20 minutes after taking the tablet that she did not feel well. The victim stated `Oh my God, I feel sick, I want to kill this roll,'' the arrest report said.
 
The girl began ''to scratch herself on both of her legs and started to act very irrational,'' an arrest report said.
 
Two friends drove to Walgreens and one friend poured strawberry milk down her throat. She threw it up. The girl grew pale. Her lips turned blue.
 
They drove her to Mount Sinai Medical Center. Her heart stopped, one friend told police.
 
Emergency room doctors revived the girl. But she was braindead, the police report said.

Wynwood has been experiencing a rapid transformation over the years with the advent of the "Art District" moniker. There is no doubt the city is more "visitable" than it was before the galleries moved in but at what cost? Since the housing boom in Miami started there has been a tremendous amount of gentrification throughout the Downtown area and it's surrounding cities. But with this gentrification comes the alienation of the people who have lived in those cities for generations. I agree with the fact that we need to help stir economy in poverty stricken areas, but to completely push people out with no option of bettering their own lives is wrong in my opinion. Case in point Wynwood. Current.com has an interesting short video titled Hipster in my Hood on the gentrification issue with interviews of gallery owners and local residents who share their point of views.

The first thing that struck me after watching the video was the the visible disconnect between the residents and the infringer's. There obviously has been no effort by the gallery owners to connect with the people of the city they are now inhabiting. Wynwood has been a working class city for generations and to simply move in and try to change things to their liking has alienated the long time residents.

What good do these galleries do if the people who visit them drive up, walk the gallery floor, then leave without spending time or money on the local eateries and markets? For example, I noticed while going through Flickr that a great majority of photos are of galleries being built, exhibits within galleries and of the people visiting the galleries. It's not a scientific experiment by no means but by simply searching flickr you can see where most peoples interest lies. Is art in Wynwood cultural, relevant or good if it does not represent the people of the city? Add to that the loss of culture, history, neighbors and higher taxes and you've good a brew of trouble. Personally I think change is good, but measured and balanced change. The video portrays seismic change which is evident in the resident interviews. If Wynwood were to lose it's culture it would not be what it is today. I personally love the markets, parks, atmosphere and rugged feel the city has now. Lose all that in Wynwood and what you've got is another Design District. I would love to hear your opinion on the issues. Leave some comments, discuss~

Looks like the squeaky wheel gets the grease for once. Bang Music Festival, newly expanded to two days for 2007, and scheduled to go down at Bicentennial Park on November 10th & 11th, has been mysteriously "postponed". After many lineup complaints and what I assume to be lackluster ticket sales compared to last year's rager, they are offering no explanation, as well as full refunds to the 17 people that actually bought tickets.

The lack of information on the bang website gives me images of a next-day walk of shame down the frat house hallway while some guy at the end takes a polaroid of your face as you slither off  to your car, oozing regret and old spice...not like I would know.

Will they return with a Stronger lineup?
Will they turn it over to the city and have a Bay of Pigs Memorial Thug-Rave?
Will I ever stop posting links?!

I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But what I do know is, this will make for some sweet, sweet comment fights.

Let the rumors begin!

[We apologize for the poor quality, formatting, and content of this post. If Jessica weren't on her deathbed, we'd extricate it from the database. --Eds]

I was in a bad car wreck last night.

Something pierced my chest and I can't breathe, my legs are ripped to shreds, theres some sort of monstrous growth/bruise the doctors have never seen before, and I fractured 2 ribs.  

It also looks like I tried to slit my own throat and cut my arm off.  

I still have electrodes attached to my body.

my. car. is. totaled. there is no car anymore. it's a toaster.

I also might die.  

just thought i'd let you know.

whatever you do, dont work for miami nights. but it's still a good read.