MiamiNights - Miami Night Clubs, Nightlife

I love my bartenders. They keep me happy, get me drunk and even cut me some slack on my tab. One of my favorite bartenders has to be Sarah T. (she's the one on the right), formerly of Studio A, who finished her last week of bartending EVER at The Vagabond last week. She is leaving me for Los Angeles to become a stylist (which she is actually very good at doing). So in celebration of all the drunken times we spent together, we'll be wishing her farewell tonight at Fridays at The Vagabond. Stop by and say goodbye!

I'll miss you Sarah :( 

We are receiving initial reports that Studio A has closed for good. This has been confirmed by staff. More details as they emerge. Watch this space!

UPDATE: The Miami New Times reports that Studio A will stay open at least through all of its already scheduled shows that run until the end of June (yes, this includes Ladytron). After that the future is a little more hazy, but I'm sure if the venue's luck changes the owners might consider keeping the place open. So if you want to see Studio A stay in it for the long haul you know what you need to do: actually stop by there, support shows and spend some money. Also a new stable weekly night probably wouldn't hurt Studio A's chances of staying open.

Everyone come tomorrow to the Money Shot party The Vagabond where we'll be saying goodbye to friend-of-the-site Ms. Paige, also known as Open Bar Paige, because, well, she can wipe out an entire bar's supply of liquor during open bar, who will be leaving this week to NYC. You probably recognize her since she is a usually featured in our galleries. Anyway, in celebration of her departure from MIA, The Vagabond is doing open bar from 10 to 11 p.m. So come and get drunk in honor of the blond bombshell.

As if the foreclosure on the place I'm renting isn't bad enough, today I was told at work that because of the looming economic recession I was being let go. Yes, by the end of February I will no longer have that day job I always talk about. Bye bye salary, bye bye awesome benefits. I'm already looking into some nice cardboard boxes to move into after my lease is up, because seriously things couldn't get any worse. Right?

What is a lowly writer to do? 

That was a pretty rough year all around. A lot of my friends are entering 2008 worse off than they entered 2007. But that's ok: God loves to fuck around with us, and the true measure of a person is how they react when the chips are down. Let's anally rape 2008.

Hello Ft. Lauderdale. How are you? Last time I was there you showed me exactly why I hate you so. In fact I needed a hazardous material scrubbing when I got home to remove the stench of suck that clinged to my body. Sort of like BO, only on a monumental scale. Apparently McDonalds finally realized the stench was from your county and not their trans fat injected french fries. So naturally they did not renew their sponsorship for the air show. I think the press release said something like "We will now be holding the show in Iraq. Less overhead, all the supplies are already in place and we can include dead Iraqi children in the show."

I know, I should have written something on Sunday or may yesterday. But you can't imagine how draining Art Basel was, and I barely scratched the surface of everything there was to see. I never made it to any of the fairs (which I sorely regret, but I just never had the time), so I stuck mostly to parties and the 2nd Saturday Art Walk. My Basel week sucked. Wednesday I fell asleep on my couch at 10 p.m. Thursday I was swamped with work. Friday I was suppose to have off in order to make my way to the beach but I was so busy with work I couldn't leave my office. Saturday I was hungover from Friday night so I didn't make it out of my house until all the fairs had closed. Sunday I had given up any hope that I was going to do anything Basel related. And trust me, it wasn't like I didn't try. I had RSVP'd to every party, exhibition and whatnot imaginable, so it wasn't a matter of me not being able to gain access. No, it was just an unlucky streak.

On the bright side, the things I did see on Saturday night in Wynwood and Design District definitely showed me the the Basel effect had made everyone step up their game. The work in Wynwood was outstanding, particularly in the EDGE Zones Fair (one of the few satellite fairs still open past 6 p.m.). I also stumble upon a ad-hoc fair organized at Wynwood Lofts that was less about making a statement than it was about making decorative art (in other words, boring). I would ramble about the things I saw, but I went into so many galleries, I could write an entire novel about all the things I saw.

I ended my Saturday night at the Green Space Gallery near the Design District. Let me go on the record by saying I rarely like performance art. I guess it because at times I find it too pretentious and aware that it's being watched by people. Well the Green Space definitely reinforced that notion. The performance were -- how do I say this nicely? -- anti-climactic.

So in my very own anti-climax -- bye!

Hey look, I'm even older and crotchetier! For those that had the misfortune to attend my awkward and perplexing last birthday party at Studio A, I promise 37% fewer sissy open-hand slaps and smashed champagne glasses. Details soon.

A little discovery I made this weekend has become a very tormenting one. This discovery has led me to believe that there is no justice in this world what so ever! And I am seriously upset at this entire debacle!

Wasteland, I mean Westland Mall has been re-named!! Now I'm sure some of you are reading this and thinking, "Gosh who cares, that mall sucks!", but listen up feeble minded people this is Westland Mall we are speaking of! Opened up sometime in the early 1900's, Westland has become a landmark in our great big city. Initially, this space was used to make the first ever "Mega Dollarazo Store" which was moved down the street a bit and is now named "Ñoooo Que Barato". Thankfully, some mega conglomerate took matters into their own hands and introduced the first ever mall in the "city" we all love to hate. Westland Mall was born with the hopes to bring the surrounding 'hoods into a decadent little area of Miami. In other words, giving the over abundance of Cubans a safe and beautiful place to play in.

This past week, Westfield Corp. has closed it's purchase of two retail properties in South Florida. This purchase includes the wonderful Westland Mall, and Broward Mall in Plantation. Both properties were purchased from the leader in shopping mall mania, Simon Property Group for a whopping $400 million! The two properties officially titled "Westfield Westland" and "Westfield Broward" will join other Westfield properties in Florida and help bring the white to the hood. Westfield plans to add concierge services, complimentary wheelchairs and electronic scooters, expectant mother parking, soft seating areas, and their very own Westfield gift cards! They also plan to add their signature family lounges and playtowns to both malls.

Yea right, as if providing Ben and Jerry's eating pro lifer's with closer parking will bring the crowds to this mall.

Long live Wasteland!!

And thus ends the era of the Orange Bowl. 70 years of concerts, BCS championships, presidential speeches, hurricane evacuees, perfect NFL seasons and amazing memories. The City of Miami will be holding an auction of sorts to sell memorabilia before they implode the greatest stadium in the nation so look forwrad to that. Go to the game this weekend, even if you don't have tickets or can't afford them you know the tailgaters are gonna be partying like it was the end of the world (in a sense it is). I couldn't have put it better myself than Chris over at AllCanes Blog:

One 'last hurrah' at the OB this weekend. Get your asses there and represent. It's about the stadium, not the current state of this team. We've all taken so many big nights out of the Orange Bowl. We owe it to the stadium and our history to pay our final respects one last time. No excuses. Hell, I'm coming back 3,000 miles for this one. Wouldn't miss it for the world.

I'll be at the OB this Saturday jumping from RV to RV whoring food and booze reminiscing about past games and the future glory to come. And if anyone has a ticket they wanna sell please contact me....! Or else I'll just get a scalped one. Have faith Cane fans, the glory days will return. We will add to our 5 National Championships. We will kick the Gators ass next year. C...A...N...E....S - CANES!