MiamiNights - Miami Night Clubs, Nightlife

I was having a serious talk with one of my best friends last Friday night (Michelle, holla!) about what it truly is to be a real Miami girl. We live what Miller Beer likes to call "the High Life" and we do it at a Miller price -- cheap. Now don't get me wrong, my purse is a real Coach and my shoes are all Steve Madden, but after the new $200 dollar dress from BCBG and my mani-pedi in Pinecrest the pocket book is a bit empty. But what can I do about it? Not looking fabulous is not an option, so I've learned a few tricks of the Miami Trade that I'd like to share with you.

Miami Girls have it all, and at a price no one can turn down: FREE. If you know how to be social, make new friends every night! You'll be surprised where they lead you, and be a good friend, so when the time comes that your low on drink and low on funds that guy you joked with while waiting in line for the bathroom (and ladies, be aware that a Miami girl does not wait in line unless its for the bathroom, and don't try to skip cause thats how things end up in the ER) he'll offer you a drink, and you'll be happy with a new friend and drink, and he'll be happy thinking you might get drunk enough to make-out with him (lets try to control ourselves please, real Miami girls need to be picky not sloppy). 

Miami girls it's time to put on your heels and leave your Coach wallets at home, because I'm taking you out! (but don't forget your ID's)

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Last night was pretty fucking insane. The parties were great even if the turnouts weren't stellar. Poplife at White Room was packed! I mean it was impossible to move and the line for the girls' bathroom was about a 30-minute wait. Bronques of lastnightsparty.com did make an appearance, and I took my opportunity to chat with him. He's a super nice guy and seemed pretty happy to be documenting Miami's Downtown scene, probably because his last few Miami galleries have all been in and around South Beach. I told him I was glad he was back to doing what he did best: taking pictures of camera-obsessed hipsters. He did take quite a few pictures of me, some of which in ordered me to look angry, which isn't hard for me to do, people are always pissing me off. Another where me and my friend Berna posed, er, well, I guess you could call it seductively.

Oh and word to the wise, a cardigan paired up with Miami humid does not equal fun times not matter how good you look. I learned that last night.

God, if you miss the Wynwood Art Walk this Saturday, you should seriously just shoot yourself because you are such a fucking loser. This Saturday is shaping up to be one of the craziest Second Saturdays since, well, Basel. Add to the list of must-do the Museum Quality exhibition at Bas Fisher Invitational. It's an exhibition of the works of Alvaro Ilizarbe, who is best known as the guy behind Freegums, which if you've ever been to any of Miami's "hipster" parties, you always see a sea of Freegums T-shirts everywhere you turn (you know you are!). I ain't hatin' though, the designs are sweet.

Anyway, this is gonna be one heck of an art/dance party because Chicago Ghettotech DJ Funk will be on hand to provide the sounds while Bronques of LastNightsParty.com will be on hand to snap pictures of all you fuckin' whores out there. Which, let me interject here: I know there are a number of you who go anywhere Bronques goes 'cause you think you aren't shit unless he takes a picture of you. Get over it, you're yesterday's news five hours after he posted up his gallery. Really people!

Back to talking about the event. It should be a blast and the after party it at ze Poplife (I like saying that in a French accent for some odd reason). And yes, camera whores, Bronques will be there as well. I leave you with a viral commercial (?) for Ilizarbe's Freegum brand done by and starring Bronques, of course.

I haven't been this fucking excited for a Wynwood Art Walk since probably Basel. Saturday, Miami Art Space will be hosting Hexagon (a hex is gone), a collective exhibition featuring Friends With You, Bhakti Baster, Jose Mertz, Kiki Valdes, Purvis Young, Phillip Toledano and 1st Ave Machine. Friends With You and Baxter will be doing an interactive dreamworld playground, which if you've NEVER had the chance to play in our of FWY's playground, it's probably the funnest time you'll ever have during an art exhibition.

The exhibition is brough to you by arc. and sponsored by Hennessy, Media Stage, Bawls Energy Drink, Open Zine and Leemer. And in case you don't know where the space is located, it's at 244 NW 35th St., Miami. Also the afterparty is at Poplife at White Room. Can't wait for Saturday!

Tonight, CIFO opens its big clunky gates for Interrogating Systems, its spring grants and awards exhibit. The exhibit comes out of the hundreds of emerging/mid-career applicants considered for the grant, about 10 receive the prestigious award. All the artists are practically exclusively South American (as they always seem to be) hailing this year from Mexico, Colombia, Brazil, Venezuela, Chile and Ecuador. CIFO offers the artists vast space to exhibit whatever the hell they want, a bag full of cash, free transportation, and slaves to install the art for them (people like me!) not to mention a damn good chance of having a piece bought by the collector/director herself, Ella Cisneros, catapulting the young artists into the vein of high profile merit as being apart of a collection like Cisneros' (One of the TOP 100 collectors in America). Seriously, being a part of this show pretty much establishes you as an artist. The art isn't half bad either (for the most part).

The site states the show to open tomorrow, yet B.A.C can attest to the wild cocktail reception that happens the night before. "RSVP required" and "Invite Only" are scare tactics to shoo away the masses, and it works pretty well. If you have never been to CIFO, tonight is the night you want to go. This show is much different than last years as far as having way more traditional 2D media and IMO better, than even their Basel exhibit. I am stunned and impressed. I will not be missing this.   

CIFO is located at 1018 N Miami Ave., one block south (and west) of the 11th Street clubsterfuck (space/studio a/nocturnal/goldrush).

Leave it to the Museum of Contemporary Art in North Miami to take advantage of influx of international DJs and promoters into the city next week. MOCA has tapped the Misshapes to appear at a little shindig on Tuesday from 7 to 9 p.m. The festivities celebrate the opening exhibition of Pivot Point Part 1, a defining of the museum's collection. The event also marks the premiere of the highly prized gift to the collection No Ghost Just a Shell, a collaborative multi-media project originated by Pierre Huyghe and Phillipe Parreno is comprised of 17 works by international artists, all based on a Japanese Manga character named Annlee. The work was jointly donated to the MOCA and the Tate, London.

If you plan to attend, you will be asked for $10 donation if you are a non-member, but cocktails will be provided by 10 Cane so that's nothing to complain about. The Misshapes will be on hand to provide the music.

Oh it's only a few months late, but Current TV finally gets around to putting something on the air relating to Art Basel. The video below asks the question "What is art?" as the narrator decides to traverse between the exhibitions and parties during Basel. Needless to say, hilarity ensues.

As always a nice post of pics and commentary on the monthly art walks courtesy of Critical Miami:

Blackbooks' spectacular show at Spinello - no stencils, all wood cuts. With the help of a computer and laser, images are precision-cut out of the top layer of a piece of painted wood. The results tend to speak for themselves, and note that this technique gets extended into sculpture and other media with, presumably, the use of a jigsaw.

The art walk is tonight. If you haven't been yet: a) you're probably quasi-retarded; and b) you should be put out of your misery. The walk starts at 7 p.m. and official end at 10 p.m., but I've seen events last until midnight. I leave you with a video done by Plum Miami Beach about the gallery walk:

The first post-Basel Wynwood Art Walk is tomorrow from 7 to 10 p.m. While I haven't heard of many openings going on, it still should be pretty active. The Art Walk season usually dies down around hurricane season, picking right back up in the fall. While the galleries themselves might be a out-of-stock of art, all the big collections (Rubell, Marguiles, CiFo, etc.) opened up right before Basel with brand new exhibitions that are still on display. I checked out the Marguilies the weekend after Basel and I was blown away. It usually isn't open for Art Walk, but it's well worth waking up Saturday morning, grabbing brunch along the way and making it to the collection when it opens at noon. And the space is enormous, so it might take 2 to 3 hours to see everything at relatively good pace.

Even if art isn't your thing, it's great to walk around and check out the sights. Plenty of people usually go, and yes, plenty of free booze.