Miami Nights

Since the tragedy then triumph over a diagnosis of breast cancer, Kylie has laid low except for a few business ventures made purely to hold her over in the cash flow department. She has made a children's book, a stunning documentary about her life, and a greatest hits compilation which contains that wonderful Scissor Sisters collaboration. Kylie fans across the world were at their feet waiting for her next move. Little did they know she was prepping some of the hottest producers at the moment, and getting ready to provide us with a shimmering collection of exquisite tracks.

"X" is the appropriately titled tenth studio long player from Miz Minouge. It opens up with a glitzy array of rock and synths on her new single "2 Hearts". At first you're not sure what to think of this "re-invented" Kylie, is this mediocre track what we should expect to see on the charts? Sure enough, the thud of bass rings in, then the big drop takes over and "Like A Drug" leaps in unleashing an incredible sample of the 1981 classic, "Fade To Grey" by Visage. "In My Arms" is a classic Kylie track that makes you fall in love with her all over again. "Speakerphone" would be her most ambitious track off this album. An extremely robotized Kylie commands to "Drop your socks, and grab your mini boom-box". This track totally puts anything off that Britney album to shame!

With a familiar turn of knobs, the Calvin Harris produced "Heart Beat Rock" kicks in. She knew exactly what she was doing when she gave this guy a call. This track is incredible and like any other Harris production makes you shake the rump. "The One" is just what everyone has been waiting for all their lives. It's the best track off this album and contains a high energy disco inspired pulsating beat incorporating Kylie's magical voice that is sure to get some hefty remixing done to it; keep in mind the song should be left alone all together. "All I See" sounds like a Janet Jackson reject, which is really not a problem. Kylie does R&B with complete justice, making you realize the track was always intended for the little Australian princess.

Other highlights off "X" include "Nu-di-ty", a whopping garage house track complete with wobbled horns courtesy of super duo Bloodshy & Avant. "Stars", another of those synth rock influenced tracks. "Wow", a campy and cheesy track that a Kylie album would be incomplete without. And a few others have been thrown in there to continue the joy. Out of forty or so tracks which had been made for this album, the final thirteen are really terrific. I'm a bit upset the tracks Mylo had produced didn't make the cut; they are equally if not better than some of the tracks that did make the cut.

I've never been a raging Kylie Minogue fan. I'm simply a music lover that will give credit where credit is most certainly due. After one of the biggest comebacks in history, surviving breast cancer, and being just the cutest little Aussie ever, Miz Minogue has won me over. It helps that she turned it out like a "Streisand ticket holding, friend of Dorothy", and has crafted a masterpiece using twinkling stars in the sky.

Let me tell you something I've learned recently. Self Destruction + High Paid Producers + A Really Agressive Record Label = Success

"It's Britney bitch!" The ever so famous quote which has been lifted off her new single Gimme More opens her fifth full length studio album, Blackout. Not quite her Confessions On A Dancefloor (keep in mind she has PLENTY of those!), but its way more techno sounding ya'll! I'm not gonna sit here and trash this album just yet, because when you get down to the nitty gritty, the production value here is rather good. The beats, the snares, the synths, the bass drops are all very scrumptious. We are all aware she isn't quite the vocalist, but it's Brit Brit's voice that really spoils the fun here. Blackout unfortunately comes across as if the entire recording process took place during her "I'm still on it from the night before" mornings, or afternoons, and sometimes possibly even the following night. When you step back and look at the whole picture, it's really not as shiteous as the obsessed Perez Hilton would think it is.

On Piece Of Me, she chants that she's been the American dream since she was 17. I would imagine that these days. the American dream would exclude becoming a hot mess. Radar being one of the more catchy tracks but synthetic as ever, boasts a beat that is to the likes of George Acosta circa 1997. Heaven On Earth would be the winning track off Blackout. It's campy, cute, got a great melody, sounds a bit magical, but more importantly her voice soothes on this one rather than irritate. Get Naked (I Got A Plan) also another noteworthy track that makes the cut. Danja takes an enjoyable vocal credit on this one and does it justice. Freakshow is an all the way alternate to Swedish pop princess Robyn's Konichiwa Bitches. Funny that Robyn herself lent Brit Brit some backing vocals on this album, but I didn't expect her to let her copy her beats! Toy Soldier is the only other acceptable song in its entirety on this album, and it just so happens to be my favorite. In the spirit of her ex man's Sexy Back, this track seems as if it could also ride that wave of success. Solely because the vocals are processed and robotised beyond recognition, and I actually shook my ass.

Britney was once a pop sensation all over the world. She also once had some great tunes, e.g. Toxic. Now I am all about the tinsel town scandal, I love reading the celebrity shit talking, and I'm the first to let people pass me in the grocery line so that I can finish this month's Star magazine. I can say it does sadden me that this poor girl has fallen, and that's not to say that she shouldn't blame herself entirely for what has happened in her own life. Bitch needs to come clean with herself and admit she is kind of a whack job. Normally when people have reached that level of low, they take precautions (if they want) to better their lives. One would suspect that these people would go into hiding, take the time to analyize their situation, revive their so called careers, and comeback and do the damn thing. It's been done by many before. 

This album may gloat with some radio friendly hits, but we all know that radio in America isn't exactly up to par on the cutting edge tip (except WVUM 90.5....yeaaaaa!). Basically radio stations have survived because of the kid's who can't afford IPods, and are being forced to enjoy these types of songs. Britney still made her money, the label still made their money, her fans got what they wanted, Chris Crocker is getting his own show, her dealer will now be able to purchase that jet ski he or she has always wanted, and the producers have the sure possibility of another hit record under their belts. It seems as if everyone was a winner with the release of this album, regardless of the mayhem caused by the entity that is Britney Spears.

 It's just too bad winning never accounts for quality or good taste.

Britney's MySpace

Britney's Website

Felix returns with the third installment of his legendary, well crafted, usually completely out of the ordinary story telling albums. In keeping within the tradition of his very “electro clash” oriented tales, the big man himself is back with a much more elaborate fable. This fable in particular calls upon the powers of the early 1970’s black folk’s music. Virgo Blaktro gives a nod to soulful disco roots, with a dash of funk classics. Altogether encompassing what we have learned to expect from Felix’s music: straight up electronic grooves. While this album may lack more of a structured plot in comparison to his previous efforts, it’s still one kick ass piece of work. Just because I’m a fan of some of the artists I review, I refuse to rant and rave about how much I liked their album. With that being said, I’m definitely a very big fan of all his work and I will try my best to point out certain aspects that are missing from this album. More importantly, I will try my best to give specific reasons as to why some other reviews may have given it two thumbs down. But between us, I truly loved the whole thing!

“I wanted to go like George Michael and Pet Shop Boys, only them being black”. That statement clearly embodies his vision for this album, but I’m sorry I didn’t hear George or the Boys anywhere. Tell me you want to sound like France Joli and the Bee Gees if they were black, and we’re in business. Movie Disco, the albums opening track is classic Felix, very melodic and as always the man knows how to use male vocals with a vocoder kick. The albums lead single Like Something for Porno, sounds like a beefed up track that at one point was all the rage at the infamous Paradise Garage. As appalling as the hook taken from Devo’s Snowball may seem to some, it’s pure electronic perfection when Felix does his magic on SweetFrosti. My biggest problem with this album is that 12 out of the 16 songs are all under the 2 minute mark. I received the album leak back in August and at first I believed I was given pure shit. I thought some of the songs had cut off too early. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and for whatever reason Felix chose to abruptly end most of the songs on Virgo Blaktro, which leaves the listener wanting more. Perhaps that was the point, but to be honest with you I have a soft spot for his over the 5 minute marker tracks.

The very minimal sounding Monkey Cage uses a lyrical sample from a classic Prince track named America. And Looking My Best with lyrics such as “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the coolest of them all?” sounds as if its Felix’s inner ego speaking to us through his music. I guess you can say he’s electronic music’s Diddy, or worse, Kanye West. However, he actually has the background and stamina to hold a heavyweight title in this genre. He is also much kinder, so it’s all good. A Felix Da Housecat album is not complete without a total techno dance floor killer, and that would be the haunting Tweak. The man’s use of a synthesizer couldn’t be any more magical than the electrical parade at Disney Land. As the tracks interlude states, “Pretty girls don’t dance, they just pose to techno”. I’m amazed this track doesn’t make pretty girls get down and dirty to techno, while lifting up their skirts and gyrating on each other’s C U Next Tuesday’s.

Virgo Blaktro may not push the boundaries as far as the “cutting edge” genre is concerned, but it’s fresh and new and definitely boasts a bona-fide groove. Essentially, this album isn’t going to make or break Felix’s career, but it will definitely establish him in the electronic music hall of fame now more than ever. In his world of silver screen shower scenes, harlots, and neon fevers, one would dream that eventually Kittenz, Devin, and Virgo would turn into major motion pictures. It’s another business venture Felix should definitely consider. Till then, at least we have the official soundtracks to hold us over! And away we go!

Felix Da Housecat Myspace

Felix Da Housecat.com

I am serious when I say that this is no joke.

For my next review, I have decided to go with another sophomore effort. It’s no joke that this year has had some sort of alignment of the stars which is forcing bands to record and wrap up their second albums. Some have brought a completely new direction, others have just kept up what they believe will score more hits, and most have re-invented themselves to the likes of let’s say good old’ Madge herself. Proof of Youth seems to be more of a straight to DVD sequel to the bands debut rather than a kick ass boundary pusher. That’s not to say The Go! Team as a whole is not already pushing boundaries, who else can lead a band which was crafted together in their leaders parent’s kitchen into international success?

I do not want to come across on this review as not fully supporting the albums effort. To be quite honest I did enjoy it, I just wasn’t 100% in love with some sequels, this album being one of those. Thunder, Lightning, Strike was filled with inventive ways to put together samples and loops of sounds we all have some sort of childhood memory too while also mixing live instrumentation. Not to mention that the album was a complete remix friendly masterpiece. One thing apparent on this album is the enlisted help of some new and old legends. The only problem with this is, their big band antics drown out some of this enlisted help. With backing vocals from Bonde Do Role’s Marina Ribtaski and Solex, Double Dutch Divas, and the Rapper’s Delight Club Kids you would think the band would focus on their direct contribution to the record. This is just not the case. Although, on Flashlight Fight it is much noted they also enlisted the help of hip-hop veteran Mr. Chuck D. Fake ID the only song on the album which is fresh stuff, not one sample was used yet the track is absolute genius. It’s got that California bleached bimbo feel to it. Well after a few hits of LSD and a night of Frankie Avalon movie sessions. Now I know using samples is a part of the band’s whole niche, but this track makes me realize just how much they could really create all on their own.

The albums lead single Grip Like A Vice is a very strong way to open the album. It encompasses the various genres The Go! Team is notorious for using. Titanic Vandalism and The Wrath of Marcie are a few of the diamonds in the rough on the record. Cuts like these two prove that The Go! Team’s member and freestyle vocalist Ninja is as essential to their success as the copyrights to the samples they use. All in all, the record closes in at a precise 36 minutes and 26 seconds. For hardcore fans this can only mean we can see a handful of “deleted scenes” on some type of bonus disc. For other fans this is can be a sigh of relief that the “ending credits” are rolling up the screen. Thankfully, the album sure does sound as if it will play itself enthusiastically on the big stage. If there was any “proof of youthfulness” on this record, it only goes to show that lightning can strike twice. Generally speaking, only the first strike is usually the brightest. Now, do you see just how optimistic I can be?

The Go! Team webby
The Go! Team myspace

Did you know two years ago, a massive musical orgy was held in Denmark?

KC and the Sunshine Band, The Jackson’s, The Mama’s and The Papa’s, ABBA, Sheila E., Electric Light Orchestra, The Beastie Boys, The Sugar Hill Gang, and even Kid Creole and his mighty Coconuts were some of these legends in attendance. The event was hosted by none other than Junior Senior, and the very extreme climax of it all is known as Hey Hey My My Yo Yo.

A down right funky power punch to the face is just what you get on the Danish duo’s sophomore record. It’s a bit sad to think that it took America two full years to catch on and finally have Hey Hey My My Yo Yo released into our record stores. Here in America, it’s apparent that we know absolutely nothing about good music. For those few civilians who do know a thing or two about good music, this year has blessed us with some fantastic sophomore albums. Hey Hey My My Yo Yo is another one to add to our list. The album is quite enthusiastic, and at times can come across as music you used to sing in summer camp. But who the hell cares, who can honestly say they did not have a fun time away at summer camp. The first single, Can I Get Get Get sure does sound a bit identical to the song that brought fame upon the duo, Move Your Feet. It’s a great track, and I must say it does provide the same feeling that Move Your Feet first did, but it’s been done, and I am so over it. What really shines off this album is Take My Time, featuring Cindy Wilson and Kate Pierson of the one and only super trio, The B-52’s. This track is simply incredible. On top of a never ending head bopping beat, this catchy hook will literally drive you mad. Please be advised, the rest of Hey Hey My My Yo Yo I assure you can possibly do the same. But remember that’s probably the exact thing this duo is trying to reach with this record. We R the Handclaps applauds the one main organ that without we would never be able to love a human being (or for that matter enjoy Junior Senior’s music), your heart. All those who know me personally will know that I just adore tracks with off beat hand claps, and this song is filled with them. I Like Music (W.O.S.B) can very easily show off what The Jackson’s contribution to this gooey mess would sound like. It’s a Prozac enhanced track with swirls of dazzling lights all around. Wouldn’t you like to partake in a bit of what JS seems to be inserting into each nostril?

Other highlights off Hey Hey My My Yo Yo include, No No No’s with its Xanadu roller rink like feel to it, its couples skate time at its best. The zingy Dance Chance Romance and Happy Rap complete the album with a tongue in cheek manner. On behalf of the two year gap between the actual release of the album and its long awaited release here in the states, their record label decided it would be in their best interest to be nice to fellow JS fans. With that in mind, make sure to snag the bonus edition of Hey Hey My My Yo Yo. It’s got a hefty load of bonus tracks and plenty of secret white substance to circulate the party. Junior Senior is most certainly on a never ending quest to prove that orgies and drugs go hand in hand, and the gays and straights are really always in unison. If the entire male and female race were to march to one beat, Hey Hey My My Yo Yo would be the soundtrack to it all. It’s comforting to know that with or without drugs, we have some talented Danish cats who always view the world for the better, and most definitely through a massive kaleidoscope of shining hope and dreams.

Useful Links:

Junior Senior Myspace
Junior Senior Website